I’m looking for a job. I saw Alice works at ACME brick. Bob knows Alice. Bob and I used to work together. I asked Bob if he could introduce me to Alice so I can ask Alice 1) for help getting in touch with the hiring manager and 2) what the company culture is like. Bob said yes and I asked Alice my questions, with Bob CC’ed in the message.
This has seemed OK with most people. However Bob said my conversation with Alice seemed one sided and excessive and like I was taking advantage of him just to get to the hiring manager. I am, correctly, asking for help getting to the hiring manager, for inside info. I am not only asking that, but it is part of what I’m asking. I am also asking about company culture and advice when talking to the interviewer. Bob was very upset and I think I’ve burned that bridge.
Is this wrong, in general? Is it OK but not asking too often? Most people seemed to be OK with it, but I worry they were just being polite and I’ve been unknowingly pissing off my entire social life and hurting my chances at getting a job. (why yes, I do have anxiety and take meds.)
Not wrong at all. I got more than half of my jobs through former colleagues. That’s also one of the reasons I never burn any bridges when changing jobs. Especially former bosses are likely to call upon you when they change jobs.
If Bob feels wronged somehow take him out for a drink or dinner or so. Especially if you end up getting the job. To celebrate.
I don’t think Bob is ever gonna return my calls, heh.
Sounds kinda weird to be so upset about it even if he feels being taken advantage of. Maybe theres something youre overlooking.
He sounds overly sensitive, I wouldn’t worry about it’