I… don’t dig this. I get it, and I appreciate it might ring bells for people who’ve already trodden a similar path, but a person who identifies as a man identifies as a man, not a “man”. Presuming and predicting other peoples’ gender epiphanies or dysphoria feels quite close to misgendering.
It’s also a post in a trans community, so it probably speaks to a lot of people’s experiences. I didn’t feel like it’s rude, especially after thinking about it recontextualized from a political context. Like, what if someone made a meme about seeing leftist memes but they were really a “conservative” and that was posted in a leftist circle. It might just be me, but it doesn’t seem rude either way because that would speak to me as someone in a circle like that.
I respect everything you’ve written, but the context of the screenshot is seeing someone comment in a general forum, who implicitly identities as cis-het, and publicly weighing the odds that they’re a trans person who hasn’t yet come to that realization. It feels presumptive in a way that doesn’t sit right with me, though I’m not sure I can verbalize it better.
The best parallel I can draw is assuming that a stereotypically camp guy or that a girl who’s a “tomboy” are gay. Yeah, the odds are weighted towards it somewhat, but extrapolating and going “oh ho ho, I know how this ends up” really feels disrespectful and assumptive in a way that feels parallel to misgendering.
Yeah, I questioned posting it in the first place because of the quotes, but I figured it was fine, since this is a sub for trans folks, who I figured would recognize the implication that it is in fact a trans woman whose egg is about to crack
I… don’t dig this. I get it, and I appreciate it might ring bells for people who’ve already trodden a similar path, but a person who identifies as a man identifies as a man, not a “man”. Presuming and predicting other peoples’ gender epiphanies or dysphoria feels quite close to misgendering.
Maybe I’m being over-sensitive?
It’s also a post in a trans community, so it probably speaks to a lot of people’s experiences. I didn’t feel like it’s rude, especially after thinking about it recontextualized from a political context. Like, what if someone made a meme about seeing leftist memes but they were really a “conservative” and that was posted in a leftist circle. It might just be me, but it doesn’t seem rude either way because that would speak to me as someone in a circle like that.
I respect everything you’ve written, but the context of the screenshot is seeing someone comment in a general forum, who implicitly identities as cis-het, and publicly weighing the odds that they’re a trans person who hasn’t yet come to that realization. It feels presumptive in a way that doesn’t sit right with me, though I’m not sure I can verbalize it better.
The best parallel I can draw is assuming that a stereotypically camp guy or that a girl who’s a “tomboy” are gay. Yeah, the odds are weighted towards it somewhat, but extrapolating and going “oh ho ho, I know how this ends up” really feels disrespectful and assumptive in a way that feels parallel to misgendering.
Again, it’s possible I’m reacting too strongly.
It is, and that’s why we have the egg prime directive here.
You’re not being oversensitive this post very much borders on Egg Prime directive violation.
Yeah, I questioned posting it in the first place because of the quotes, but I figured it was fine, since this is a sub for trans folks, who I figured would recognize the implication that it is in fact a trans woman whose egg is about to crack