• SpaghettiMan
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    1 day ago

    How far into the future? I need to know if I’m into dudes or not

    • Tanis Nikana
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      1 day ago

      You’re into dudes in the future, but they’re cute and you’re passionate, and there’s gentle hugs while thoughtfully baking cookies. You’ll do alright.

      Politically, however, shit will be more fucked than ever.

      • SpaghettiMan
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        1 day ago

        Wait, I’m the SpaghettiMan from Council Bluffs, IA. I’m not the one in Saratoga. Does this change anything?

        • Tanis Nikana
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          1 day ago

          Says here in the book that you’ll have a happy gay relationship that borders on saccharine, and that your friends will be jealous of your adorable and stable homelife.

          However, the one in Saratoga will get three felonies because a heavy bookend connected with his husband’s head, flung across the room in yet another protracted dispute, and the medical examiner who saw Saratoga SpaghettiMan’s husband is a mandatory reporter. They were never meant to be.

            • Tanis Nikana
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              1 day ago

              They were made for each other in a special hell, and they’ll never have what you and your fiancé have.

              • SpaghettiMan
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                1 day ago

                I will sleep easy tonight knowing what lies ahead. A dude in my bed.

                • Tanis Nikana
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                  1 day ago

                  He’s pretty, a subtle feminine aesthetic. You were doubtful at first.

                  Oh also, interesting to note in the future: after self-flying cars were legalized by Chairman X. A. E. Musk of the United States Board of Presidential Chairmen in ‘51, mid-air traffic fatalities octupled almost immediately. He wanted one, and you were so close to talking him out. Next time this conversation happens, mention the payment cycle and interest rate more often.

    • Tikiporch
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      1 day ago

      You’re NOT into dudes in the future. You’re into bird watching.