I grew up when drunk driving was legal! I had a van, and was always the designated drunk driver! Cops would stop me and tell me to drive safer in case another cop was arsed to pull me over! Never got busted, and never died!!
When I was younger, I had my Boomer in-laws decide that I would drive because I had drunk the least—I had drunk plenty. And this just seemed like something normal and I’d just nonchalantly say, “Oh, that makes sense. That’s smart.”
They were upset that I wouldn’t, insisted they would, and got more upset that I ordered a cab.
Fortunately, after they realised they’d lost, they sided with the idea being really stupid and irresponsible, but I think that’s just because they got morally caught out by a 22-year old.
I died every day for the past 30 some-odd years, until woke cancelled my deaths! People were just built stronger back then! Every night, after being an alpha mega-male, I’d force myself into a cocoon of dead organic matter encased in synthetic materials, and then wait to die, and then go to Hell. The next day, I’d come back to life, as though nothing even happened. Lots of us ended and restarted our lives just like this!
Don’t get me wrong, some people didn’t make it. There was a series of documentaries about some of those unlucky few. Most of them, coincidentally, had run-ins with a burn victim who was fond of knives and children. Sadly, that guy who looked like a young Jack Sparrow was an early victim night-death unreturning.
But now, ever since DEI ruined science, everyone keeps trying to tell me that I actually never died! They keep accusing me of being woke, too! I’m not woke! I’m not “open-minded!” In fact, I’m dense as fuck, like a real man!
one of my best friends growing up drak heavy for 30 years and then tried to quit but had a Alcohol-related seizures from going cold turkey, fell and broke his neck. But his liver is fine.
he has barely any movement of his upper body but he kicked the bottle, hasnt had a drink since! (Because he cant do it without somone helping him)
Well ya know I drank really really hard for 40 years, but I didn’t have liver failure.
Guess there’s no consequences for alcoholism! Guess I can keep drinking forever! I am immortal!
And THAT is what I imagine my still alcoholic boomer dad must think daily.
I grew up when drunk driving was legal! I had a van, and was always the designated drunk driver! Cops would stop me and tell me to drive safer in case another cop was arsed to pull me over! Never got busted, and never died!!
Woke snowflakes today, I tell ya’ !
When I was younger, I had my Boomer in-laws decide that I would drive because I had drunk the least—I had drunk plenty. And this just seemed like something normal and I’d just nonchalantly say, “Oh, that makes sense. That’s smart.”
They were upset that I wouldn’t, insisted they would, and got more upset that I ordered a cab.
Fortunately, after they realised they’d lost, they sided with the idea being really stupid and irresponsible, but I think that’s just because they got morally caught out by a 22-year old.
I died every day for the past 30 some-odd years, until woke cancelled my deaths! People were just built stronger back then! Every night, after being an alpha mega-male, I’d force myself into a cocoon of dead organic matter encased in synthetic materials, and then wait to die, and then go to Hell. The next day, I’d come back to life, as though nothing even happened. Lots of us ended and restarted our lives just like this!
Don’t get me wrong, some people didn’t make it. There was a series of documentaries about some of those unlucky few. Most of them, coincidentally, had run-ins with a burn victim who was fond of knives and children. Sadly, that guy who looked like a young Jack Sparrow was an early victim night-death unreturning.
But now, ever since DEI ruined science, everyone keeps trying to tell me that I actually never died! They keep accusing me of being woke, too! I’m not woke! I’m not “open-minded!” In fact, I’m dense as fuck, like a real man!
Nobody who smoked for 70 years ever died young. That’s a fact.
one of my best friends growing up drak heavy for 30 years and then tried to quit but had a Alcohol-related seizures from going cold turkey, fell and broke his neck. But his liver is fine.
he has barely any movement of his upper body but he kicked the bottle, hasnt had a drink since! (Because he cant do it without somone helping him)
I often think of the old man that lost his horse.