Sorry, I used punishment in the meaning it takes when discussing abuse. Kinky punishment is consensual, including the ability to stop it at any time and to go back to just acting as equals. Kink as a whole is a form of play. Punishment in the abusive context is something either party can do, and in this specific context is referring to anything to make the other party less likely to say no the next time.

It can be something like self harming, or a long drawn out negotiation of the boundaries you tried to set or enforce. The woman who abused me routinely would talk about her history of suicidality and mental health crises, and also whenever I tried to get her to not pursue me she explicitly said she was unwilling to do so. And for the fear of being a bad sub an example might be the sub saying that anal is off limits for them, then the dom may respond with something like “I thought you were submissive, what kind of sub doesn’t even do anal”. With enough challenges to boundaries such as that they may stop voicing them or preemptively weakening them.

There isn’t suppressed anger because you set up what you’re ok with and what you want in advance. It’s ultimately play where either party can stop it at any time. Do I necessarily want to do each thing my domme says? No, but I do want to do whatever she says, and I trust her to take my needs into account and to listen when I voice issues. A D/s dynamic with suppressed anger in it is not a healthy one.