The real trial is being this guy when other people decide they’re going to start a fire and by the time you get there they’ve done it all wrong and the thing is smouldering and coughing up smoke and barely staying lit at all as they cram handfuls of pine needles and barely dry leaves into places while there’s a full-ass log precariously balanced on top of it all and they’re saying things like “Maybe we should pour a little lamp oil on top of it?”

And then you have to be the adult and take over the whole operation.