If the marriage is sexually exclusive, why would you care? If the marriage was open, why would you care? If you’re worried about infidelity, then what gender they might choose still seems like a trivial issue.
Pretty much the stance I had with an ex-girlfriend who was bi. I didn’t care who she slept with before me or who she slept with after me, so long as she wasn’t sleeping with someone else while we were together.
Sexuality seems like a thing to have discussed before you arrange a marriage.
Its different if someone has not realized or accepted their queerness and comes out years later. But right after the honeymoon feels nasty. Its the kind of move a manipulator uses, omit telling information that could cause others to make different choices then those that align.
There’s a stigma around bisexuals, that they are promiscuous. I did not tell my ex that I was bi at all, because she and I were exclusive the whole time we were together. It was years after our divorce that I came out as trans.
I was so worried that she would have rejected me if she knew that about me. I was happy with our life we had together, and I never strayed, so why should I have to disclose that if I don’t want to?
If the person you’re dating is going to reject your authentic self they’re not the right person for you anyway, you just wasted both of your time on a relationship where your partner was kept in the dark because you were too scared to be vulnerable, gives me the ick
they’re not the right person for you anyway, you just wasted both of your time
What exactly is “the right person for you”? If they had a happy life while they were together then why should it matter that they’re not the perfect match? Sometimes one needs to go through relationships that help them grow into the person that their “perfect match” (whatever that is) would consider to be their perfect match.
I don’t understand what difference there is for the wife, someone please explain to me why she(or anyone!) would care about her husband being bisexual vs hetero.
You make it sound easy, it’s often something you are not able to understand easly you cannot just “work on that before devoting yourself” if you do not know about you being that in principle.
Also, talking about is often harder than it seems (especially because bisexuals are also very judged in the LGBT community itself), i have some bisexual friends and, oh man how many times i heard them not being sure anymore if they were actually bisexual or not, some even thought they were pretending (they were not)
It’s not about being bisexual it’s about being afraid of being vulnerable with the person you’re trying to spend the rest of your life with. If you can’t be fully open and honest with them out of fear you’re not ready to be married, a life long commitment, at least not to that person who scares you. They might reject you? Then they’re not a good match anyway, give them the opportunity to make an informed decision. Don’t have it figured out? Ok, considering it’s not about being bisexual that’s not an issue they should still know you’re at a stage in your life where you don’t have that figured out yet. I think denying a potential life partner any significant information about yourself is not ok, it shows a fear of intimacy and vulnerability and it robs them of the opportunity to make an informed decision, none of those things are good for a life long partner to be dealing with.
i have a theory that actually bisexuality is the default for mammals and heterosexual relationships a common general preference. I get its confusing for some but what depends is how they personaly perceive their own attractions.
If they weren’t sure and over many years they started to question their own sexuality its a different story but thats not this one.
What changed in a honeymoons worth of time to go from “not questioning their sexuality” to
“perceiving themselves as bisexual”
Let me put it this way, if my partner felt uncomfortable telling me something they struggle with. Than i would perceive that as a personal failure. Because trusting eachother to tackle life together is the whole point of the ceremony.
If your partner not being 100% hetero is a dealbreaker for someone they should maybe ask about it before marriage? Although in this case it wouldn’t have helped, since the sender says her husband says he didn’t know until then (while calling him a liar). Sometimes people don’t understand their sexuality until later in life, I dunno what to tell you.
If its a dealbreaker then it feels like a red flag. Do you want to spend your life with a person that doesnt accept you fully as you are?
Youre also supposed to kinds have figured out yourself by the time of marriage. Ofc people can be stuck in the closet for years but just after the honeymoon?
I guess its possible but what events even aspired to suddenly be so sure?
Slightly related i have a theory that all mammals are biosexual by nature with a common hetero preference on top. Its well studied in animals, there are also infinite tales of life with gender separation (monks, soldiers, prison). For many hetero, its not gay if there are no women available.
If the only reason you don’t cheat is because of the lack of opportunities… Then you’re not just a bad person, but you’re probably ugly as fuck as well.
I reckon aro/ace don’t cheat as much. But if you are attracted to more people then you get more chances. You could say the same of someone with low standards. It’s not a moral judgement.
Imagine a group of 10 people. 5 men, 5 women. There’s one bisexual guy who’s in a relationship with a woman. Realistically, how many people can he cheat with?
I don’t think many people Mac or their free time in creating, it’s more opportunistic.
I wanted to ask if you really think hordes of heterosexual dudes are eager to fuck a bisexual man, but now I see this would be like trying to squeeze water from a stone.
I mean that once you cheat with one person that counts as cheating, and is probably the likely outcome (apart from not cheating at all), unless you’re super efficient and can get round to lots of people or they all work on different oil rigs or something.
If the marriage is sexually exclusive, why would you care? If the marriage was open, why would you care? If you’re worried about infidelity, then what gender they might choose still seems like a trivial issue.
You shouldn’t care, but most straight women do. Straight women are uniquely prejudiced against bisexual men.
I for one want to know what the hell is going on in the heads of the handful of bisexual women that wouldn’t date another bisexual woman. 🤣
Probably got confused by the question with a number that low.
because its click-bait
Pretty much the stance I had with an ex-girlfriend who was bi. I didn’t care who she slept with before me or who she slept with after me, so long as she wasn’t sleeping with someone else while we were together.
Sexuality seems like a thing to have discussed before you arrange a marriage.
Its different if someone has not realized or accepted their queerness and comes out years later. But right after the honeymoon feels nasty. Its the kind of move a manipulator uses, omit telling information that could cause others to make different choices then those that align.
I’d wonder what other secrets there are.
There’s a stigma around bisexuals, that they are promiscuous. I did not tell my ex that I was bi at all, because she and I were exclusive the whole time we were together. It was years after our divorce that I came out as trans.
I was so worried that she would have rejected me if she knew that about me. I was happy with our life we had together, and I never strayed, so why should I have to disclose that if I don’t want to?
If the person you’re dating is going to reject your authentic self they’re not the right person for you anyway, you just wasted both of your time on a relationship where your partner was kept in the dark because you were too scared to be vulnerable, gives me the ick
What exactly is “the right person for you”? If they had a happy life while they were together then why should it matter that they’re not the perfect match? Sometimes one needs to go through relationships that help them grow into the person that their “perfect match” (whatever that is) would consider to be their perfect match.
I don’t understand what difference there is for the wife, someone please explain to me why she(or anyone!) would care about her husband being bisexual vs hetero.
The fact itself shouldn’t.
Not being open about yourself till just after marriage is what’s bothering.
Granted marriage culture has changed alot but surely the idea is still to unite with someone for hopefully the rest of their life.
If one has reservations and arent comfortable to be open about things that is valid but then work on that before devoting yourself to another.
You make it sound easy, it’s often something you are not able to understand easly you cannot just “work on that before devoting yourself” if you do not know about you being that in principle. Also, talking about is often harder than it seems (especially because bisexuals are also very judged in the LGBT community itself), i have some bisexual friends and, oh man how many times i heard them not being sure anymore if they were actually bisexual or not, some even thought they were pretending (they were not)
It’s not about being bisexual it’s about being afraid of being vulnerable with the person you’re trying to spend the rest of your life with. If you can’t be fully open and honest with them out of fear you’re not ready to be married, a life long commitment, at least not to that person who scares you. They might reject you? Then they’re not a good match anyway, give them the opportunity to make an informed decision. Don’t have it figured out? Ok, considering it’s not about being bisexual that’s not an issue they should still know you’re at a stage in your life where you don’t have that figured out yet. I think denying a potential life partner any significant information about yourself is not ok, it shows a fear of intimacy and vulnerability and it robs them of the opportunity to make an informed decision, none of those things are good for a life long partner to be dealing with.
Of course, it’s not easy, but so is marriage.
i have a theory that actually bisexuality is the default for mammals and heterosexual relationships a common general preference. I get its confusing for some but what depends is how they personaly perceive their own attractions.
If they weren’t sure and over many years they started to question their own sexuality its a different story but thats not this one.
What changed in a honeymoons worth of time to go from “not questioning their sexuality” to “perceiving themselves as bisexual”
Let me put it this way, if my partner felt uncomfortable telling me something they struggle with. Than i would perceive that as a personal failure. Because trusting eachother to tackle life together is the whole point of the ceremony.
If your partner not being 100% hetero is a dealbreaker for someone they should maybe ask about it before marriage? Although in this case it wouldn’t have helped, since the sender says her husband says he didn’t know until then (while calling him a liar). Sometimes people don’t understand their sexuality until later in life, I dunno what to tell you.
If its a dealbreaker then it feels like a red flag. Do you want to spend your life with a person that doesnt accept you fully as you are?
Youre also supposed to kinds have figured out yourself by the time of marriage. Ofc people can be stuck in the closet for years but just after the honeymoon?
I guess its possible but what events even aspired to suddenly be so sure?
Slightly related i have a theory that all mammals are biosexual by nature with a common hetero preference on top. Its well studied in animals, there are also infinite tales of life with gender separation (monks, soldiers, prison). For many hetero, its not gay if there are no women available.
Maybe the honeymoon sex pushed him over the edge of realization about how he would like to have a man involved too.
I don’t really understand what the difference there would be a spouse, if their other half is het or bi. What should matter is that they chose you
It does hurt the odds though, double the chances to cheat.
This is the sort of shit I hear from fellow gays about bi people all the time. We call it biphobia.
If the only reason you don’t cheat is because of the lack of opportunities… Then you’re not just a bad person, but you’re probably ugly as fuck as well.
Do you think such people don’t exist?
Cheaters exist, it has nothing to do with their sexuality.
I reckon aro/ace don’t cheat as much. But if you are attracted to more people then you get more chances. You could say the same of someone with low standards. It’s not a moral judgement.
Please rethink the math here. Consider actual human population.
Could you explain it please?
Imagine a group of 10 people. 5 men, 5 women. There’s one bisexual guy who’s in a relationship with a woman. Realistically, how many people can he cheat with?
One is plenty, I don’t think many people use most of their free time in cheating, it’s more opportunistic.
I wanted to ask if you really think hordes of heterosexual dudes are eager to fuck a bisexual man, but now I see this would be like trying to squeeze water from a stone.
You can squeeze water from my stones any time
If one is plenty, it says more about the person regardless of their sexuality than it does of any sexuality itself
I mean that once you cheat with one person that counts as cheating, and is probably the likely outcome (apart from not cheating at all), unless you’re super efficient and can get round to lots of people or they all work on different oil rigs or something.