By “party”, I mean a physical social gathering of people for the purposes of having fun. It may be used in a sentence as “I am throwing a party!” or “Let’s party!”.
Basically what I am trying to say is the default “party”.

I’ve never been to any, and I have no idea how people spend their time on parties, so I am curious how you did.

  • @[email protected]English
    202•1 year ago

    Since I didn’t see any responses that directly answered the question of what do you DO, I’ve prepared a short guide for a generic social gathering. This guide may be inappropriate in some contexts such as a dinner party or event/tv show watching party, etcetera:

    1. Show up
    • Not at the exact start time, but at a minimum of 15-20 minutes “late”
    • Bringing an unopened bottle of wine or a 6-pack of beer, or another drink of choice is almost always a classy move.
    • If you drove, don’t park like an asshole. Consider the neighbors.
    • If you’re standing on the doorstep and you can hear music, it’s probably safe to just walk in (make sure you’re at the right place!). Otherwise, knock/ring doorbell.
    1. Party!
    • Get yourself a drink and/or a plate of food if snacks are out
    • Find friends and say hi! You should probably know at least one other person. How else would you have been invited?
    • Explore! Hosts expect people in their house so it’s generally okay to look around, admire artwork, investigate the music, go into the backyard, etc. Don’t go anywhere that’s obviously closed off, unlit, or otherwise not a party locale.
    • Talk and socialize. Meet new people! Ask your friend(s) to introduce you to their friend(s). Lightly eavesdrop on convos for something interesting you can talk about. Listen in general. Ask people what they like to do. Share stories about yourself! Pro tip: the length of your stories should be proportional to how well you know the person you’re telling it to. Just met the person? Suuuuper short stories. “No way! That reminds me of the time my cat was in the bathroom when she got hit by a car! The vet said she was very lucky to have a good friend!” (Confession: I used autocomplete to write that story)
    • Dance!
    • Find the host and complement their place, the party, the music, food, whatever. Just be nice. Offer to help if they look at all stressed.
    • Play party games like beer pong or whatever.
    1. Leave! Say thanks. Take your stuff. Cleanup whatever plates/glasses you’ve used. Don’t drive drunk. Don’t overstay your welcome.

    This was probably too much info. I have insomnia. I hope someone reads this.

    • Caveman
      21•1 year ago

      I have some details that could supplement the outline.

      Just for reference. Talk and socialise genarally take up anywhere from 80-95% of total time spent at parties. Generally most other activities include socialising even though they’re structured. Beer pong you talk about beer pong and/or make fun of people’s throws as well as just regular talking.

      For neurodivergent people I recommend searching areas with fewer people, smoking is very convenient in those situations for a break between 3 sets of talking 10 minutes. Alcohol really helps too since it removes some of the talking friction. Dancing is also a good option since it’s less talking and is a structured activity that’s well received at most parties.

      I enjoy parties as a charge of pace and getting rid of loneliness for example. Talking to friends and ignoring the rest is also fun but parties are exhausting imo.

      • @yanyuan
        9•1 year ago

        deleted by creator

      • @calypsopub
        5•1 year ago

        As a neurodivergent, I get through these events by pretending to be an alien anthropologist trying to blend in and study humans. Conversations are usually easy to start by asking, “So, how do you know the host?” Most people enjoy talking about themselves, so if you nod and listen, you’ll be popular.

        Occasionally you’ll meet someone truly interesting. Arrange to meet with them later and follow up. This is pretty much the best way to make friends in the modern age, with intentionality.

        • @[email protected]
          2•1 year ago

          “pretending” to be an alien anthropologist trying to blend in and study humans

          There, I fixed that for you

      • @[email protected]
        3•1 year ago

        Good parties are wonderful, the type of party described above does sound miserable but you can choose which parties you want to attend. Personally I like parties that revolve around board games and interesting conversations where the only real social rule is to bring something: cheeses, an appetizer, weird booze, just something so all the provisions aren’t the sole duty of the host.

      • @folkrav
        1•1 year ago

        deleted by creator

        • @folkrav
          4•1 year ago

          deleted by creator

          • @[email protected]
            2•1 year ago

            My least favorite thing in the entire universe is having to take time to explicitly spell out what I’m not saying.

            I fucking hate that people can’t stop reading extra shit I didn’t write.