I’ve never seen one cucumb.

I once attended a traditional Chinese wedding and it’s customary to serve sea cucumber soup as one of the dishes. Tales say it strengthens your fertility. Let me tell you, that shit is inedible. Soup is a euphemism, it’s closer to a brine that has some penis-shaped object with gristle-like texture floating around.

It was probably the most expensive dish of the evening, but it was the only one I didn’t finish.