I apologize in advance if posts like this are not welcome here.
I have a friend circle of 6 guys including me. Before some of us got jobs, we used to play games everyday, hang out together if we are in town. Everyone was chill, enjoyed games more and mostly respected each other to some degree.
After getting jobs we still made time to play and hang out, but not as frequently. I only get time to play games with them on the weekends as my job is in a different time zone. But I still call or text them nearly everyday. Some of them play every single day (kind of addicted to GTA online and valorant for some reason).
But in the last couple of months I have noticed a shift in their behavior. Talking behind each others backs and always getting offended for the silliest of things. This is especially true for those who continued to mindlessly play every single day (they work on the same startup company as well).
I always knew that there was one guy among us who would unnecessarily run his mouth. But I always thought of it as his way of having fun. Mybe it was his way of feeling included. Idk. So I never took any of his ramblings to heart. But everything hits differently now, in a bad way. Every conversation feels like I’m walking on eggshells. Now the others are also starting to become like him.
It’s not just me who thought this way. Another guy who have been besties for a long time with the blabbermouth guy personally called me and told that the whole group feels like it’s infected by something and shared thoughts similar to mine.
I want to call it out, but i’m not sure how to do that in a thoughtful way. I just want them to reflect on themselves, not that I have any right to say that. I’m not afraid of offending them as it’s almost impossible to say anything meaningful without doing so.
Thank you for reading. I hope you have a wonderful day.
We do meet in person once or twice a month. Once I start bringing up anything related to this, the problem guy will just change the topic or run off to somewhere else.
I mean, if you’ve already done what you think is an honest effort to discuss it directly with this person, then talking about it with the rest of the group when this guy runs away is not “behind the guy’s back”. It’s just refusing to participate in that conversation, which they have every right to, but can’t come back and complain about missing out on that discussion.
I figure if you were to give it another go, the best place would be in a casual, low-stress and low-stakes setting, over bubble tea, coffee, pizza, dinner, boardgames, video games, a bar, a park, or whatever is comfortable with your group.