today was supposed to be my first day of therapy and the therapist didn’t show up. I’m pissed off. I wasted 2 hours for nothing.

I’ve sent her a polite message, asking if she’s sick and hoping she is well, but in reality I wanted to yell at her. However, if I yell at her, chances are she won’t treat me.

Before you suggest to find another therapist, finding a shrink where I live is very difficult and the other ones I contacted have either ignored me or are overbooked. I need therapy and it bothers me to be so dependent on one person.

For those of you who have experienced something similar, how doesn’t it bother you?

  • @[email protected]
    95•10 months ago

    Flip it around. If you missed an appointment, would you want them pissed off you wasted their time? Would you want them to yell at you? Most likely you would have had a good reason and would want them to understand. It’s most likely the same for them.

    • @[email protected]
      13•10 months ago

      Not only does this phenomenon have a name (Fundamental Attribution Error), OP’s situation is the example case given on the wikipedia page:

      In other words, observers tend to overattribute the behaviors of others to their personality (e.g., he is late because he’s selfish) and underattribute them to the situation or context (e.g., he is late because he got stuck in traffic).

    • @[email protected]
      -31•10 months ago

      I’d feel safer with a person who raised their voice at me for being late, than with a person who just let it go.

      • @Alteon
        34•10 months ago

        That’s…a really weird way to feel. Essentially, you’d feel safer with someone that lacked empathy? This isn’t your buddy, this is a professional. You’d prefer it if your therapist wasn’t in control of their emotions, and would rather get angry at you than someone simply saying, “It’s okay”?

        • @[email protected]
          11•10 months ago

          There’s something to be said about emotional honesty and transparancy, I suppose. Most of my family’s pretty inscrutable, so I’m always much more wary around them than my more heart-on-the-sleeve friends.

          For a professional relationship though, ehh yeah i dunno.

          • @[email protected]
            5•10 months ago

            In a professional setting the real feeling is more likely “stop apologizing so we can get this over with and I can get back to doing the other stuff I have to do” than “I need to punish you for being late”.

        • @[email protected]
          -2•10 months ago

          Someone who raises their voice isn’t a psychopath wtf?

          It just means they have a healthy response to being disrespected.

          Note I’m saying “raising the voice” here, not shouting. Someone who shouts when I’m late isn’t a safe person.