I was just randomly checking out what Funerals costs and was shocked how expensive it was! €3.500 to €5.500! I live in north Germany, and we have here some very deep Woods. So I was thinking what would happen if I just die there. Let’s say no one ever finds me. Are Animals just going to eat me, and will I just be gone in a couple of years?
EDIT: If someone knows what happens step by step I would be really curious to know :D
I’m imagining what happens is they organize a giant search party to look for you (this is not the good kind of giant party) Eventually they find your corpse and put it in a refrigerator for a long time while your relatives argue with the police about whether you were kidnapped and murdered. Somebody pays for all this, maybe the tax payers, maybe your relatives, I don’t know. Then after all that you finally get to have your expensive funeral but on top of being sad, everybody is frustrated.
I’m thinking, better all around if you just don’t die quite yet because that shit is just awkward.
Gluck auf!
I love the sentiment: “just don’t die because it’s awkward AF”. If “joie de vivre” doesn’t make you cling to life, there’s always social anxiety even after death 🤣
So what you’re saying is that you need to make the crime scene interesting so people aren’t frustrated. Got it.
A tripwire that sets off a bunch of confetti when they find your corpse.
I prefer the balloon drop. If you use one of those mylar balloons it could last for 30 years and still be full of air. Just think how it would really perk up some future investigator’s afternoon.
What if I yeet myself into a volcano and leave a note explaining?
No, Mr Frodo! I won’t let you!
What happens if I commit suicide by fire? And maybe with a fan to blow away the ashes?
Basically what if there is no body?
So an incineration to ashes requires something like several sustained hours at 4000⁰, you would basically have to build a pyre
🎵I didn’t light the pyre🎵
Otherwise with that fan, you’ll have the entire downwind neighbourhood disappointed there’s not actually a bbq party.
Isn’t self immolation fairly agonising? I always assumed fire is the worst way to go.
What I’ve heard is that fire destroys the nerves in your skin pretty quickly and you can’t feel pain or anything else after a few seconds. @[email protected] seems to have had just that experience.
Your comment will be my head canon from now on, because I desperately hope that’s true. I’ve been traumatised by a few videos on WPD back in the day. :(
I have no idea tbh, but I did get a 1 inch circular brand about a decade ago, and after the first two seconds or so, I couldn’t feel the heat anymore. Of course by that point my skin was literally boiling. Even before that, I don’t remember the pain being very bad.