I’ve been here before and while I don’t wanna take the time to write an entire guide, the short of it is you need to fucking hustle and start now.
As of now you are a goddamn sales agent. Your product is yourself. Always Be Closing and No Means Next are your new mantras. Don’t be afraid to stretch the truth if it means you live another day. Your life is about to be very different and difficult. You are now a pariah. People will not see you as a human being. Get used to that fast and this’ll be easier.
You need to find a place to sleep and get food, that’s paramount. You need to find a way to keep groomed and clean, people are fucking assholes to dirty humans. You need to find a way to clean your clothes, too, because people view you as subhuman if you can’t wash your clothes once a week.
Go to a church. Make up a slightly more tragic back story. Get good at this. People are gonna wanna hear your tale and its gotta mostly conform with their preconceived notions about you but should defy them only in one part or another. They’re gonna be demeaning as shit to you while pretending to be nice, be ready for that and play into it. They love that shit. Be ready to switch churches once the congregation gets bored of helping you, which they will. Christian denominations will probably give you the most in the onset, but also they actually give the fewest shits. Mosques and Hindu temples will give you the best foods, but YMMV on how much assistance they’ll provide.
If you can meet and talk with a Rabbi, this is the best option. No one helped me more directly and honestly than the Rabbim I met on this journey. Everyone else gave what they thought was the Platonic ideal of aid. The Rabbi would listen and try to help like a real friend.
Keep clean. It’s so important for getting a job and recognized as human in society, it’s so wildly important.
You wanna find suits and “nicer” clothes at thrift stores. Don’t worry if they fit poorly, a shitty suit and tie makes you more human in the eyes of society than a ratty t shirt.
Apply to min wage jobs like mad. You can use the church as an address. That’ll mostly fly, but also when you tell the pastor you almost had a job but they needed a physical address, they’ll more than likely tell you to use theirs. Look for places that’ll pay in cash, i.e. aren’t big brand businesses. Retail is mostly big corporations now, don’t discount them entirely, but focus on small business shops like pizzerias or delis. Someplace that isn’t gonna have some binder of SOPs or corporate oversight. Food places are great because they usually have left over shit you can ask to take home. Anything going into the trash, that can be yours.
Once you get a lil bit of money, hoard it. Don’t let anyone know you got cash. You want a car or some other way to travel longer distances so in case things go tits up, you can bail. A $10 a month gym membership gives you a shower and place to shave. Burner phones let you keep in touch and network when you can’t use the computers at the library. Dunno if it still works, but I got a lil cash going doing retail arbitrage via Craigslist and Facebook. Do all your exchanges at a police station. Unless you “look homeless”, then the pigs will harass you. Do it at a Walmart lot with lots of cameras during the day. Don’t get into the drug trade unless you know what you’re doing, you’ll get hurt and bad.
Speaking of substances, don’t turn to drugs. They’re too expensive to really help anything. Booze, though, can be useful in small amounts. It’s extremely calorie dense, and a buzz is nice, but 1) you’re gonna need your wits at all fucking times, 2) no one respects an unhoused drunk
Shoplifting is easy. But don’t do it as your main way to acquire things, do it while buying other stuff to stretch your dollar. Your legitimate purchase is your ticket into the store. Be smart. Look for cameras and employee eyes. Take small things to practice.
High calorie food sources are great when you can’t get much food. So is stuff you can keep in your mouth a long time, helps keep hunger away. Chew jerky was a personal favorite. Bags of nuts are good, too, but be wicked mindful of salt intake and make sure to drink lots of water. Many libraries and parks will have water fountains of some kind.
Convenience store hot dogs are great. They’re cheap and you can abuse the toppings for extra food. Do this when they’re busy so they don’t see you loading the box with relish and tomatoes. You can also buy chips and pour the pump chili and cheese over em if no one is watching you.
Come up with stories to tell pigs as to why you’re sleeping outside (got kicked outta home if you’re young, spouce kicked me out if you’re older, etc). If you get caught, don’t sleep there again for a few weeks. Especially if you’re sleeping in your car, the pigs will take it from you, they are monsters, never ever trust them.
Also, dishwasher gigs are always in high demand and Chefs DNGAF if you’re down & out, 9 out of 10 times if there’s an opening you get a shot, show up on time, do the work, what you do on your own time is up to you.
Not the most ideal job for some, you’ll figure that out soon enough. but it gives you some time to get your shit together.
I’ve been in the kitchen for 35 years and still spend my time in the dish pit (but now the dishes are MINE).
One hundred percent. I washed dishes while living outta my car for a while. You can also sneak food off plates if you’re just a lil careful. Finding work where you can eat on the job is a huge blessing. If you can wait tables, that works too. Anything where you can get paid in cash. Cash is king when you can’t have an address for a bank account.
Hehe, also, not gonna lie, I think washing dishes with those overhanging sprayers is kinda fun.
Holy shit dude. These are real as fuck answers. I have done a few of these while going through hard times. 💯 on the need to project the right image into some people’s pity systems to get what you need from them. They don’t want the truth or to help you, they just want to feel good about themselves. Same for hygiene and creating the illusion of legitimacy to access resources. There’s a strategy for every level of life - and you need to know which to use once you move up or down.
For real dude it’s fucking eye opening to understand how the world works from that perspective. I could waffle on about how we take so much for granted in our lives, but I think most folks could come to those same conclusions with enough thought.
But being treated like you’re a dingy pet just because you don’t have any money? And realizing you can weaponize that to get a bite to eat?
That shows you what a society really is. And it punches through a lotta the nursery rhymes you get told growing up about kindness and meritocracy.
That’s true, but it’s not enough to get you through homelessness.
Your biggest takeaway should be that you will need to rely on the kindness of strangers, have the confidence to ask for help, and the resilience to do it again when you’re rejected.
And that this cursed world is insanely cruel to the most vulnerable. It’s a condemnation of unimaginable magnitude that we could produce such wealth and wonders and yet still treat people the way we do the unhoused.
Kickass. I got a fairly decent job, a 2 bedroom apartment I share with a wonderful man, a car from 2021 and right now I’m getting over a cold while I eat Chinese food on the couch while I watch Star Trek. (TNG S05E25, Inner Light, it’s a fucking masterpiece)
I’m fighting the company for some more money, but who isn’t these days?
I’ve been here before and while I don’t wanna take the time to write an entire guide, the short of it is you need to fucking hustle and start now.
As of now you are a goddamn sales agent. Your product is yourself. Always Be Closing and No Means Next are your new mantras. Don’t be afraid to stretch the truth if it means you live another day. Your life is about to be very different and difficult. You are now a pariah. People will not see you as a human being. Get used to that fast and this’ll be easier.
You need to find a place to sleep and get food, that’s paramount. You need to find a way to keep groomed and clean, people are fucking assholes to dirty humans. You need to find a way to clean your clothes, too, because people view you as subhuman if you can’t wash your clothes once a week.
Go to a church. Make up a slightly more tragic back story. Get good at this. People are gonna wanna hear your tale and its gotta mostly conform with their preconceived notions about you but should defy them only in one part or another. They’re gonna be demeaning as shit to you while pretending to be nice, be ready for that and play into it. They love that shit. Be ready to switch churches once the congregation gets bored of helping you, which they will. Christian denominations will probably give you the most in the onset, but also they actually give the fewest shits. Mosques and Hindu temples will give you the best foods, but YMMV on how much assistance they’ll provide.
If you can meet and talk with a Rabbi, this is the best option. No one helped me more directly and honestly than the Rabbim I met on this journey. Everyone else gave what they thought was the Platonic ideal of aid. The Rabbi would listen and try to help like a real friend.
Keep clean. It’s so important for getting a job and recognized as human in society, it’s so wildly important.
You wanna find suits and “nicer” clothes at thrift stores. Don’t worry if they fit poorly, a shitty suit and tie makes you more human in the eyes of society than a ratty t shirt.
Apply to min wage jobs like mad. You can use the church as an address. That’ll mostly fly, but also when you tell the pastor you almost had a job but they needed a physical address, they’ll more than likely tell you to use theirs. Look for places that’ll pay in cash, i.e. aren’t big brand businesses. Retail is mostly big corporations now, don’t discount them entirely, but focus on small business shops like pizzerias or delis. Someplace that isn’t gonna have some binder of SOPs or corporate oversight. Food places are great because they usually have left over shit you can ask to take home. Anything going into the trash, that can be yours.
Once you get a lil bit of money, hoard it. Don’t let anyone know you got cash. You want a car or some other way to travel longer distances so in case things go tits up, you can bail. A $10 a month gym membership gives you a shower and place to shave. Burner phones let you keep in touch and network when you can’t use the computers at the library. Dunno if it still works, but I got a lil cash going doing retail arbitrage via Craigslist and Facebook. Do all your exchanges at a police station. Unless you “look homeless”, then the pigs will harass you. Do it at a Walmart lot with lots of cameras during the day. Don’t get into the drug trade unless you know what you’re doing, you’ll get hurt and bad.
Speaking of substances, don’t turn to drugs. They’re too expensive to really help anything. Booze, though, can be useful in small amounts. It’s extremely calorie dense, and a buzz is nice, but 1) you’re gonna need your wits at all fucking times, 2) no one respects an unhoused drunk
Shoplifting is easy. But don’t do it as your main way to acquire things, do it while buying other stuff to stretch your dollar. Your legitimate purchase is your ticket into the store. Be smart. Look for cameras and employee eyes. Take small things to practice.
High calorie food sources are great when you can’t get much food. So is stuff you can keep in your mouth a long time, helps keep hunger away. Chew jerky was a personal favorite. Bags of nuts are good, too, but be wicked mindful of salt intake and make sure to drink lots of water. Many libraries and parks will have water fountains of some kind.
Convenience store hot dogs are great. They’re cheap and you can abuse the toppings for extra food. Do this when they’re busy so they don’t see you loading the box with relish and tomatoes. You can also buy chips and pour the pump chili and cheese over em if no one is watching you.
Come up with stories to tell pigs as to why you’re sleeping outside (got kicked outta home if you’re young, spouce kicked me out if you’re older, etc). If you get caught, don’t sleep there again for a few weeks. Especially if you’re sleeping in your car, the pigs will take it from you, they are monsters, never ever trust them.
Amazing.
Also, dishwasher gigs are always in high demand and Chefs DNGAF if you’re down & out, 9 out of 10 times if there’s an opening you get a shot, show up on time, do the work, what you do on your own time is up to you. Not the most ideal job for some, you’ll figure that out soon enough. but it gives you some time to get your shit together.
I’ve been in the kitchen for 35 years and still spend my time in the dish pit (but now the dishes are MINE).
One hundred percent. I washed dishes while living outta my car for a while. You can also sneak food off plates if you’re just a lil careful. Finding work where you can eat on the job is a huge blessing. If you can wait tables, that works too. Anything where you can get paid in cash. Cash is king when you can’t have an address for a bank account.
Hehe, also, not gonna lie, I think washing dishes with those overhanging sprayers is kinda fun.
It’s a good zen kind of work, you spend alot of time in your own head.
Most of the guys I knew took care (to go/family meals) of thier guys (outdated phrases but fuck that “team” bullshit. Brigade is also acceptable)
Nothing ever changes (literally Orwell!)
Holy shit dude. These are real as fuck answers. I have done a few of these while going through hard times. 💯 on the need to project the right image into some people’s pity systems to get what you need from them. They don’t want the truth or to help you, they just want to feel good about themselves. Same for hygiene and creating the illusion of legitimacy to access resources. There’s a strategy for every level of life - and you need to know which to use once you move up or down.
For real dude it’s fucking eye opening to understand how the world works from that perspective. I could waffle on about how we take so much for granted in our lives, but I think most folks could come to those same conclusions with enough thought.
But being treated like you’re a dingy pet just because you don’t have any money? And realizing you can weaponize that to get a bite to eat?
That shows you what a society really is. And it punches through a lotta the nursery rhymes you get told growing up about kindness and meritocracy.
The main takeaway I got was All Cops Are Bastards.
That’s true, but it’s not enough to get you through homelessness.
Your biggest takeaway should be that you will need to rely on the kindness of strangers, have the confidence to ask for help, and the resilience to do it again when you’re rejected.
And that this cursed world is insanely cruel to the most vulnerable. It’s a condemnation of unimaginable magnitude that we could produce such wealth and wonders and yet still treat people the way we do the unhoused.
Out of curiosity, how are things for you now?
Kickass. I got a fairly decent job, a 2 bedroom apartment I share with a wonderful man, a car from 2021 and right now I’m getting over a cold while I eat Chinese food on the couch while I watch Star Trek. (TNG S05E25, Inner Light, it’s a fucking masterpiece)
I’m fighting the company for some more money, but who isn’t these days?