On the other hand, one of mine thinks she deserves a promotion because her electricity bill was so much higher in winter than she was expecting.

Maybe what she needs help with from ChatGPT is translating her actual request to language you’d better understand.

“Hi person who has undue influence over my well-being, it turns out that the increased amount of work I’ve been doing at home has led to an unexpected increase in incurred personal costs. Ideally, these should be offset by work. Given I am skeptical you’d authorize any kind of reimbursement or a relative pay raise to cover these costs for their own sake, I’m instead coming to you to suggest a promotion prompted by my sudden increased incurred costs which are in part on your behalf. This is also justified based on my work history and the ways in which my pay hasn’t kept track with market rates for comparable labor. I would encourage you to consider the transactional costs of finding a replacement at current market rates and factor those into the value you put on my retention as you consider this request, as without being able to pay my bills I may be forced to seek other employment which you will only know about if I succeed at max two weeks out from my disappearance.”

Yep. Weekly 1:1 meetings for the first year at least. Go to every two weeks after if preferable.