• BruceTwarzen
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      719 months ago

      I will make you sick and turn you into an unlikable blob.

      You don’t understand how funny i am when i’m drunk.

      You pissed yourself the other night.

      I’m sooooo funny i swear

      • @TexasDrunk
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        349 months ago

        I’ll have to know I have no memory of pissing myself so you can’t prove that happened.

    • @[email protected]
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      309 months ago

      I think that’s a bad example because alcohol develops when sugar is half digested by microorganisms. Not sure about the details but alcohol isn’t “actively” added to fruits by the plant. The plant wants you to eat the fruit and shit the stone into the woods. Alcohol is a byproduct nobody intended.

      Better examples are caffeine, hotness in chili, …

      • the post of tom joad
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        249 months ago

        ok :)

        Human: I eat bad fruit

        yeast n shit in the fruit: nooo what are you doing we’re already eating this!

        Human: taste bad!

        Yeast n shit: Ya bro that is like literally our shit n waste

        Human: ooh i feel funny n good!

        Yeast n shit: are you listening to me?

        Human: haha fun! grabs another rotten peach

        Yeast:…

        • @[email protected]
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          159 months ago

          Human: this yeast shit is so good we should put yeast in our grape juice, potatoes, barbecue sauce and boil all the water out of it

          Government: oh no you don’t, not unless you pay us money to do that

          Human: but I’m not selling it

          Government: M O N E Y!

      • @[email protected]
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        129 months ago

        The plant wants you to eat the fruit and shit the stone into the woods. Alcohol is a byproduct nobody intended.

        Can’t remember exactly what tree it is, but there’s a rainforest tree that’s almost entirely pollinated by drunk little monkeys. The monkeys are specifically attracted to the pollen with the highest alcohol content.

      • @SeabassDan
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        99 months ago

        What’s the apparent evolutionary purpose for developing caffeine?

        • @Ross_audio
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          119 months ago

          A really bitter tasting pesticide essentially.

          Us mammals coming along recently has changed some things.

          • the post of tom joad
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            39 months ago

            Iirc it slows down a type of caterpillars who eat the leaves and makes them smell yummier to predators but i don’t remember where i saw it

        • @[email protected]
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          69 months ago

          That’s a good question tbh. If I remember correctly, the effects on other animals (was it insects?) is very different from ours.

          • Dhs92
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            69 months ago

            It’s toxic to insects, so it’s a natural pesticide iirc

    • @Dasnap
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      79 months ago

      I want crack.