What you describe is transactional. I pay for your meal, now you owe me a meal of equal value. The inability to treat others (even people you’re romantically involved with) without expecting reimbursement is a characteristic of narcissistic personalities traditionally found among affluent people.
I’m aware that my brain works differently from your average person in many other ways too. However in this case I don’t see my way of behaving as unfair or narcissistic. Quite the opposite. It’s objectively a fair way of dealing with it. A nacissistic person would be seeking to take advantage of other people and that’s the opposite of how I live my life. I give back in other ways.
Well not really. I do stuff like pick up other people’s trash and do unauthorized trail maintenance on my local bike trails and people do benefit from it but nobody knows whose doing it. I’m not especially generous person when it comes to money but I treat people fairly and as I would hope to be treated myself.
It’s “fair” on a very shallow level. If the money spent is a small portion of your disposable income but would cut into the grocery budget of someone else it isn’t really equal. Relative cost, not objective cost, is a better measure of fairness.
What you describe is transactional. I pay for your meal, now you owe me a meal of equal value. The inability to treat others (even people you’re romantically involved with) without expecting reimbursement is a characteristic of narcissistic personalities traditionally found among affluent people.
I’m aware that my brain works differently from your average person in many other ways too. However in this case I don’t see my way of behaving as unfair or narcissistic. Quite the opposite. It’s objectively a fair way of dealing with it. A nacissistic person would be seeking to take advantage of other people and that’s the opposite of how I live my life. I give back in other ways.
In the ways you give back, do you expect the favor to be returned?
Well not really. I do stuff like pick up other people’s trash and do unauthorized trail maintenance on my local bike trails and people do benefit from it but nobody knows whose doing it. I’m not especially generous person when it comes to money but I treat people fairly and as I would hope to be treated myself.
It’s “fair” on a very shallow level. If the money spent is a small portion of your disposable income but would cut into the grocery budget of someone else it isn’t really equal. Relative cost, not objective cost, is a better measure of fairness.