I’m looking for some good reading on how to, eventually, best help be a step parent to my partner’s children and NEARLY ALL books are geared toward the woman’s perspective as though men don’t want to be a strong teacher and develop these kids into healthy adults. Ugh!

Thanks for listening to my rant.

  • FuglyDuck
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    1 month ago

    Well…. The sexism aside, the best advice I can give you is to forget about being a “step”-anything,

    If they’re young enough, it’ll only ever matter if you let it, if they’re older, you need to build that relationship with care, kindness and patience. You can’t force them into it and if you try to force it… that almost never ends well.

    If their bio-parent is in the picture; you might have to “share”, they may never fully open up, and that’s okay.

    But Being a good parent has nothing to do with biology.

    • @brygphilomena
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      81 month ago

      I’m going to be falling into a stepfather role this summer when my girlfriend and her daughter moves in. We’ve already kind of talked about marriage.

      I’m nervous as all hell, but the girlfriend says I’m doing great so far. Her daughter loves me and I try to handle her by leading her rather than telling her. If she doesn’t want to take a nap, well then I guess it’s time for me to take a nap and she’ll follow. When she doesn’t want to go to bed, then I’ll play like I’m going to lay down and sleep in her bed and she’ll kick me out because it’s hers.

      She’s a smart cookie, and I’m excited for it all. I’m excited to take her to extracurriculars and chaperone field trips. I’m scared shitless. But excited.

      • FuglyDuck
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        91 month ago

        She’s a smart cookie, and I’m excited for it all. I’m excited to take her to extracurriculars and chaperone field trips. I’m scared shitless. But excited.

        Welcome to parenting? hehe. you’re a parent. not a step-parent. That’s just an artificial distinction that reinforces distance. If you’re the one in her life, trying to be a good father to her, then you are her father. she might have another father… but you’re in her life. And for the record, more parents could follow your example.

        also, parenting should be terrifying, so you’re in good company as far as that goes.

        • @brygphilomena
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          31 month ago

          Thanks. I know it’ll a challenge. She’s five now, and will be six by the time she moves in. I’m super excited that I have a goddaughter who is a year and a half younger than her. I really want to build the relationship so that she has someone her age to grow up with and befriend.

          I’m trying to give her every opportunity to experience everything. She recently visited my house for the first time (I’m in the Midwest and she and her mom are from California) and it was the first time she had been to a zoo and a children’s museum.

          I want to give her every experience and opportunity I can.

          • Rhynoplaz
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            11 month ago

            That’s such a fun age! And they really start to develop their personalities, so you are getting on board at a great time. Just enjoy the time together, play games, and get your dad jokes ready and you’ll be golden! Congrats on the family!

    • Maeve
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      21 month ago

      But Being a good parent has nothing to do with biology

      That part.