I stopped being so open about the fact that I disowned my narcissistic mother, at least among strangers. I got sick of all the arguments from people who would also want nothing to do with her, if they ever had to misfortune to meet her.
She is a nasty, vindictive, obsessive person who goes out of her way to hurt people. She sees people as tools to manipulate, not as human beings. The only relationships she has ever been able to maintain are with people too afraid of her to leave.
But sure, tell me again how blood is thicker than water.
I can relate. “That’s your parent! The Bible says honor your father and mother!”
Bible aside, I do honor them, in that they suffered abuse without access at the time to professional help, as in turn did I. When I became an adult and realized I was fast having the save nasty personality, I got myself into therapy. Some therapists were pretty awful and one actively did more harm than good (low cost, sliding scale; whole other story), but I kept at it. And when I end up going full no contact, with the parent with whom I’m minimal contact, whether that’s before they pass from this earth or not, I’ may end up back in therapy, abd if not, there will be plenty of shadow work, ongoing, for maybe the rest of my life. And that’s just fine. That parent has money and Medicare part B, so there’s zero reason they can’t choose to get better, but it’s just easier to blame everyone else.
It is shocking how people will come into a thread like this and lambast OP. It’s like “Well, so very sorry that you had a good life and never had to deal with this, I guess.”
Narcissistic parents are a real thing that some people need to learn about.
I stopped being so open about the fact that I disowned my narcissistic mother, at least among strangers. I got sick of all the arguments from people who would also want nothing to do with her, if they ever had to misfortune to meet her.
She is a nasty, vindictive, obsessive person who goes out of her way to hurt people. She sees people as tools to manipulate, not as human beings. The only relationships she has ever been able to maintain are with people too afraid of her to leave.
But sure, tell me again how blood is thicker than water.
It’s so weird to think anybody would even argue that. They have no idea what you could have been through as a child or even as an adult.
I can relate. “That’s your parent! The Bible says honor your father and mother!”
Bible aside, I do honor them, in that they suffered abuse without access at the time to professional help, as in turn did I. When I became an adult and realized I was fast having the save nasty personality, I got myself into therapy. Some therapists were pretty awful and one actively did more harm than good (low cost, sliding scale; whole other story), but I kept at it. And when I end up going full no contact, with the parent with whom I’m minimal contact, whether that’s before they pass from this earth or not, I’ may end up back in therapy, abd if not, there will be plenty of shadow work, ongoing, for maybe the rest of my life. And that’s just fine. That parent has money and Medicare part B, so there’s zero reason they can’t choose to get better, but it’s just easier to blame everyone else.
Yeah ouch. My favourite “a mother always loves her children!” etc.
Keep going and good luck!
Agreed. People who don’t understand how you can be estranged from your parents have NO idea how crazy they can be.
It is shocking how people will come into a thread like this and lambast OP. It’s like “Well, so very sorry that you had a good life and never had to deal with this, I guess.”