“We’ve almost got some of their telecommunications cracked; the front end even runs on a laptop!” The Mac that sunk a thousand ships could have been merely clunky product placement, not a bafflingly stupid tech-on-film moment.

“Senator Amidala is in a coma. Even if she recovers, she will never be the same and may not live long.” But no… George had to have his god-damned funeral scene, even if it demanded Simone Biles levels of mental gymnastics to save Carrie Fisher’s most emotionally resonant moment from ROTJ, as well as one of the more intriguing OT lore dumps.

Bonus points if a scene was scripted or filmed and got cut.

  • @[email protected]
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    76 months ago

    They’re human. I don’t think it’s been fully covered how this happened, but there was one interesting piece that didn’t get published.

    It combines Lucas’ various other movies like THX-1138 and Indiana Jones. Earth is overrun with an AI-driven society in THX, and a group of humans get on a ship to escape. They fall through a wormhole and end up in the Star Wars universe, becoming the first humans there. Han and Chewie travel back through this wormhole, and crash land on Earth in a forest. Chewie survives, and him walking around starts a bunch of stories about Big Foot. Indiana Jones investigates, finds the remains of the Falcon and Han, and wonders why this guy looks familiar.

    I think American Gothic was in there somehow, too.

    Even if it did get published, I can’t imagine it being taken seriously as Legends canon. Chewie was already killed off in the Yuuzhan Vong stuff with Han surviving. But that’s the closest to an answer we ever got.

    As it stands, Courscant is often believed to be the original human homeworld in-universe, and whatever the truth is has been lost to time. Star Wars is interesting with how old the universe feels–which is more of a Tolkein-like property than traditional science fiction–and this is a pretty good example.

    • @stoicmaverick
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      26 months ago

      That’s cool. Thanks. I haven’t read almost any of the expanded universe stuff, but at some point I’m going to have to delve into it. My favorite part though, is the fact that a large percentage of Star wars fans, are also both professional and casual science nerds, so there are officially accepted orbital periods, and gravitational constants for basically every single planet.

      • @samus12345
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        36 months ago

        Yup. Chewie died in the novels, but Han did in the movies. Go figure.

        • Echo Dot
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          6 months ago

          So what you’re saying is variant Star wars characters is going to be a thing?

          Disney owned the property now so it’s totally possible for the TVA to show up at some point. They may as well, It might actually make Star wars good again.

          • @samus12345
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            26 months ago

            They made the whole novel timeline non-canon, so we won’t be seeing it unless they choose to pick characters from it like Pellaeon and Thrawn.

            • @Buddahriffic
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              26 months ago

              Disney might have paid a bunch of money to get George Lucas to say they owned it, but as far as I’m concerned, they can only make their official Disney version of the universe and can’t unmake the rest.

          • AlexisFR
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            16 months ago

            I’m pretty sure they’ll have to diverge the timeline if they want to make Ashoka s02 and Thrawn matter.