Asking both questions here. Please don’t be too political here, it’s a timeless issue and that’s the angle I’m asking from.

Especially in an age which no longer is lenient towards it (not that any era did; I’m sure the most ancient of knights did not wish to fall for it), it always surprises me how dogmatically people treat their intuition, as in there are people who will say “that’s definitely a guy” or “that’s definitely a girl” even though a trip down Google lane will show how easy it is to have “definitely a guy” vibes as a girl or “definitely a girl” vibes as a guy.

My voice over the phone is ambiguous and I was calling customer service for a sport company one day, and half-way through the call, they held their hand on the part of the phone they speak in (poorly, which is why I still heard them) to refer to the “ma’am” on the other side (me), and quick-thinking me imitated the old man from the demonic furby clip saying “I’m a sir”, to everyone’s laughter. I’m only humorous when it’s adequate to get the message across.

I’m not often misgendered by my looks, the last time that happened I was in school wearing pink and a teacher thought I was a girl. And I think I’ve only misgendered someone once for the same reason.

I thought to ask this seeing people really hammer into people about what gender a friend of mine must be even though it’s not the friend’s gender. Like, take this picture of the friend for example, what gender comes to your mind looking at that (you can count that as a side question and a “second opinion” question to an earlier one)? What made you say this with certainty?

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    37 months ago

    I’ve been midgendered a few times since I have long hair - it mostly happened in my teen years (the early 00s) and I think my big bushy beard (and people being generally more considerate) has mostly stopped it. It’s a bit amusing actually since I often wear skirts these days (most clothing doesn’t need to be gendered). I’m sure I accidentally misgendered people in my youth (and before trans awareness was as wide spread as it is today) but these days I just avoid ever assuming someone’s gender - it’s not the way I’ll identify people when I meet them.

    I think misgendering can hurt whether it’s intentional or not - so my apologies to anyone I ever accidentally misgendered - but there are some assholes that delight in doing it intentionally and those people can fuck off.

    (Disclaimer, have ADHD, got distracted part way through, may be a bit rambly)

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      47 months ago

      Heavy Metal never died, but it did make things confusing for people approaching long-haired metalheads from behind!