• @[email protected]
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    12811 months ago

    At press time, Wheeler announced he would instead be attending PragerU.

    That last line brought the whole thing together.

    • @Vash63
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      1811 months ago

      Agreed, was meh until then but the punchline was worth it.

      • Alien Nathan Edward
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        1611 months ago

        idk, “even though my father raped someone at the same college” definitely made contact

    • @LemmyKnowsBest
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      211 months ago

      Hey that’s the best university. People learn all their twisted perspectives there.

      • @[email protected]
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        4911 months ago

        Rapist Allen Turner, aka rapist Brock Turner, who got a 6-month slap-on-the-wrist sentence for what his father called (and I quote) “twenty minutes of action”? That rapist Allen Turner (aka rapist Brock Turner)? The one who only served 3 months?!

        • @Municipal0379
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          4111 months ago

          Are we talking about convicted rapist Brock “Allen” Turner? The guy who was convicted for raping somebody and only got a 3 month sentence? That Brock “Allen” Turner?

          • @Agrivar
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            1611 months ago

            I am so happy to see that this survived the migration from Reddit - just because we’re on Lemmy now is no reason to forget that Brock “Allen” Turner is a convicted rapist who got a slap on the wrist!

            • Queen HawlSera
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              511 months ago

              Seriously, I love how the mainstream media tried to have him remembered as a “Swimmer” and even posted his times, really paints a fucking picture next to all the dead black people who were “No Angels”, because of that one time they smoked a cigarette.

      • @captainlezbian
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        1711 months ago

        The one who lives in Dayton Ohio and goes by Allen these days?

      • Queen HawlSera
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        511 months ago

        To be fair, that’s 3 whole months of punishment for “just a few minutes of action”

        THAT IS ACTUALLY WHAT HIS FATHER SAID TO ATTEMPT TO APPEAL THE DECISION, I’M NOT FUCKING JOKING!

    • @[email protected]
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      3811 months ago

      Brock Allen Turner, convicted rapist who is now going by Allan Turner to hide the fact that he’s a convicted rapist.

    • @Tikiporch
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      2111 months ago

      Hopefully it’s an AI photo.

      • @LemmyKnowsBest
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        211 months ago

        scary. But good point. He looks impossibly perfect.

  • Ech
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    2711 months ago

    I just need to express how perfect that title is. The way it changes meaning with almost every additional word is really impressive.

    • Drusas
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      311 months ago

      The Onion has been doing perfect titles for decades. It’s become harder for them in recent years, with reality coming to meet The Onion.