“It’s pretty clear that someone didn’t want the community to read the news this week,” said Ouray County Plaindealer co-publisher Erin McIntyre.

  • @xantoxis
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    21910 months ago

    “Whoever did this does not understand that stealing newspapers doesn’t stop a story,” she told readers in her email.

    This story was already lowkey national news but now it’s going to go nuclear. Whoever stole the papers, what a complete moron.

  • @NounsAndWords
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    11610 months ago

    You know who I bet it was?

    Barbara Streisand

    • @[email protected]
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      10 months ago

      You’re walking in the woods

      There’s no one around and your phone is dead

      Out of the corner of your eye you spot her

      Barbara Streisand

      • @AtariDump
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        1010 months ago

        She’s following you, about 30 feet back
        She gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint
        She’s gaining on you
        Barbara Streisand

        • @Crackhappy
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          210 months ago

          There’s blood on her face There’s blood everywhere! Running for your life from Barbara Streisand Musical superstar Barbara Streisand

          • @AtariDump
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            210 months ago

            I also would have accepted “Mécha-Streisand Barbara Streisand”

    • @snekerpimp
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      10 months ago

      Love that Duck Sauce song

  • PugJesus
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    8910 months ago

    “Oh no. I wonder who could have done this. Unfortunately, we have to close the case for lack of evidence.” - Ouray County police department

  • It's A Faaaahhkeah!
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    10 months ago

    Fools, you’re supposed to set up an elaborate printer press system, where you create an entire edition of a newspaper, but replace the no no story with a different one, THEN you steal all the newspapers, but swap them with yours, everyone gets a newspaper, no one really knows anything happend except maybe a couple of people and you gaslight them or arrest them.

    Now this random idiot in rurual Australia knows that the Ouray County Police Chiefs step son is a rapist.

    How hard is it to do a cover-up…

    Edit: put the wrong person.

    • athos77
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      1610 months ago

      Now this random idiot in rurual Australia knows that the Ouray County Police Chief is a rapist.

      Technically, I believe it’s the police chief’s stepson who’s accused of rape, along with two other people.

      How hard is it to do a cover-up…

      Given that the entire population of Ouray County is 4,874, they may not have either the required density of criminal masterminds to pull off your plot, nor sufficient anonymity to get away with it.

      • NoSpiritAnimal
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        1810 months ago

        The limit for a successful persuasion check is 4,873 persons

  • gregorum
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    5310 months ago

    Oops! Someone also forgot to steal the Internet!

  • @5oap10116
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    3810 months ago

    The files are IN the computer!

  • FlashMobOfOne
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    410 months ago

    It’s so weird to me the stuff people will still try to pull in the age of viral, instant news.