• teft
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    438 months ago

    If Vader is in a prison cell with a front door that lets him see the door controls, he chooses to be there, you didn’t put him there.

    • @Blue_Morpho
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      128 months ago

      Nah, McCoy would just whip up a batch of kironide from Platonis. Kirk would laugh in Vader’s face:

      “Not only do we have your psychokinetic abilities, but at twice your power level.”

      • @[email protected]
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        8 months ago

        And than he chops him down with a laser sword while deflecting the stun phaser shots.

        Ones a cold blooded murdering psycho trained from a young age to kill, the other is a sexual explorer of the cosmos.

        Vaders jealousy would fuel his rage.

        • @Blue_Morpho
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          8 months ago

          Kirk has already handled a planet of Sith. Vader can’t lift his arm without Kirk allowing it because Kirk has twice Vader’s power.

          They must have psychokinetic dampening fields in the brig or every telekinetic alien would run rampant.

    • The Bard in Green
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      17 months ago

      Not necessarily.

      Cut and pasted from an r/whowouldwin from years ago:

      There is only one way for Kirk to win (unless it’s Enterprise vs. Executor, but that’s a different fight and one where Kirk will stomp), and he cannot do it alone. It goes like this:

      Kirk: Darth. . . Vader is it? Tell me more of the power of the Sith? If the Federation is to be. . . subjugated. . . by this Galactic Empire you speak of, I would know more of the glory that being part of it will bring to my people and the. . . legacy of these Sith overlords!

      Vader (pauses before striking the killing blow): . . . Yes. It IS fitting that you should know more of the power of the Sith. Many years ago. . .

      minutes pass

      . . . and that is why the Federation stands no chance against the Empi. . .

      *A cheesy, tinny sound effect is heard and a warbley distortion field surrounds Vader for a second.

      Vader: WHAT IS THIS TREACH. . . gah!

      Vader collapses to the ground. Moments later both are beamed aboard the Enterprise. Two security red shirts take a paralyzed Vader prisoner while Spock and McCoy, looking smug, greet Kirk.

      Spock: It is excellent to see you in good health, Captain.

      Kirk: I did just as you said. Kept him talking. How were you able to do it?

      Spock: As we learned from our sensor readings, the Sith ““force”” power is actually generated by a host of symbiotic microscopic organisms distributed throughout his blood stream. I was able to analyze the unique energy signature of these tiny creatures. But it was Doctor McCoy who speculated that an inverse chronoton bubble would have a disorienting effect on them.

      McCoy: Like a phaser on stun, right in their tiny organelles. They won’t be making any more trouble for a few hours at least, I reckon.

      Scotty (from behind transporter control): Aye Captain, and then it were just a matter of firin’ an electromagnetic pulse into his cybernetic suit. Now he’s just a crippled man in powerless armor.

      Kirk: A fitting punishment for such a. . . diabolical villain. This ““Galactic Empire”” will think twice before the next time they mess with a Federation star ship.

  • Flying SquidM
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    158 months ago

    “You will lower the brig shield now.”

    “I will lower the brig shield now.”

    “You will let me go free.”

    “I will let you go free.”

    “Move along.”

    “Move along!”

  • @aeronmelon
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    128 months ago

    Yeah, no.

    Kirk and Spock are in grave danger.

    • @then_three_more
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      68 months ago

      It depends on if they knew about Vader’s power. If they did then insert technobable dampening field that negates it. If not they’re fucked.

      • Probably not. At this stage in the show, he’d escape using the Force, and they’d have to spend the rest of the episode/film tracking him down or running away until they develop the technobabble device. The show wouldn’t end with him in the brig, though; he’d be exploded, or marooned, or something depending on the series. Maybe the brig in DS9, but in any other series, the brig is just a plot piece for the villain to escape from.

        • @then_three_more
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          88 months ago

          That’s a really good point actually. You’re 100% right this shot is definitely part way though act 1.

        • @trolololol
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          38 months ago

          Lower decks would put him next to peanut butter.

        • @[email protected]
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          28 months ago

          I feel like somewhere they would offer to fix his shitty mechanical body, or at least ease his pain. Maybe even restore his original body? Then they would deus ex machina him into being good or at least not as evil. Maybe a little holodeck padme action at the end? A little feel good fluff at the end?

          • @Blue_Morpho
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            8 months ago

            If they could do that wouldn’t they have fixed Christopher Pike?

            Thinking back, it’s very inconsistent. Kirk, Spock and McCoy get plasma burns, brain removed, shot in the chest, stabbed. All fixed by the end of the episode.

            Meanwhile Pike still only goes beep.

      • @Blue_Morpho
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        58 months ago

        By “they” you mean several red shirts die.

  • IninewCrow
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    78 months ago

    Vader force chokes Spock while asking to be released from the prison.

    Captain Kirk: SCOTTY! Emergency transport! Transport the prisoner to the outside of the ship!

    Scotty: but sir, we’re still in warp!

    Kirk: do it Scotty!

    • @Blue_Morpho
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      48 months ago

      You forget that Kirk and Crew clowned an entire planet of Jedi. Although Kirk would wait until Vader forced him to kiss Uhura before stopping him.

  • @cmbabul
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    38 months ago

    This is like dropping a wolverine in the middle of a herd of capybaras