For me it’s foot fetish stuff. Every damned thing else is on the table but before I could make the lethal mistake of talking about it, she expressed her giga-ick about the issue. To this day I thank God I saw the metaphorical fly hit that electric fence before I walked into it.
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Oof. as a 100% straight dude, I feel for you. Fetishization without consent is the worst.
Are you sure you want to be with someone you don’t trust will accept you for who you actually are?
I dunno why you got downvoted for that. No sane person wants to be with someone who fetishizes or who isn’t trustworthy about accepting who they are. That’s like life 101.
As a bi dude, I feel you. Except with me it doesn’t lead to fetishization. It leads to a loss of respect, cheating, and destruction of the relationship.
No, I don’t keep secrets from my partner. But we do hold each other’s privacy as sacrosanct, which requires a balance. We are monogam-ish and currently want things to stay that way. When one wants monogamy, the implicit corollary is assumption of all responsibility for a partner’s sexual satisfaction. The “mono” and “-ish” parts require maximum reasonable transparency, communication, and self-awareness so that we are all fulfilled and and informed.
Through a few decades of dating and many imploded relationships, I have found that being open with my partners is the surest way to get exactly what I want. And I’m seriously twisted and pervy.
I have a pregnancy fetish, but hate kids. Neither myself nor my fiance want them, so I’m just not going to mention it. She also has a medical condition that would make pregnancy difficult and dangerous
I don’t think so? We’re poly, so if I had a want/need that didn’t interest her, it wouldn’t be a big deal, I’d just find another partner for that.
Thankfully my wife likes attention on her feet.
Never. We always talked about what we liked and what was going to make it into the bedroom. We found things on both sides we weren’t comfortable with and things we were.
^ This.
I had, but not anymore. This scenario you explained in your main post was actually similar and part of the reason I wanted a change in partner/go to my preferred style of relationship.
For me that would have been a decision over whether it was worth it to leave. Compared to everything else she’s okay with and all the good things she’s brought into my life the single sexual issue I don’t bring up is simply not worth breaking up with her over. Of course that’s up to each person to decide whether it’s worth it.
Absolutely true.
It definitely isn’t quite that rational for me. I don’t really want to compromise in a relationship very much at all. It’s not a decision of “it’s mostly positive, so it makes sense to stay together”, but rather, “I’d like to experience something, but I’m not allowed to do it here. So I’d rather find a relationship where that is possible.” I’m not afraid of being alone for a while.
There’s no relationship for anyone ever where you can have it all. Sorry that’s not how existence itself works.
I am currently in a relationship where I can have it all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it’s poly so i just go to someone else if I need something else
Yes
I don’t have a partner, but yes I would, unless I was sure they were also into it.
When I’m in a relationship, usually I can figure out if they would, would consider, or would be against stuff that I may like/want and that determines whether or not I bring it up.
If it’s not a critical desire than I don’t mind just going without. There’s nothing I would really consider “out there” that I find a critical need for with that stuff anyway. It’s usually just a bonus if they also enjoy the same things I do.
Are the straights okay?
Rules 1-4 in the sidebar - please stick to them. Consider this a warning.
You sure op is even straight? The sub is ask men, not men ask
Straight as a laser.
Yes I am.
Straights are fine. They’re not the ones with the proportionally highest divorce rates.
Right, and that couldn’t have anything to do with separation being a healthy response to relationships when they stop working out; much better to keep it a social taboo equivalent to adultery in the eyes of the church & state.
If you aren’t sure, don’t marry
