I was a non functioning alcoholic and ran with some rough types in my late teens/early 20s and have both kicked ass and had my ass kicked. Mostly drunken barfights.

One time someone legitimately mistook me for someone else and started cussing at me, so I started cussing back and pushed him to the ground. He got up and did a really neat move actually where he faked a kick and then socked me right in the cheek, knocked me on my ass. I apologized, got up, we figured out the misunderstanding and he bought me a beer.

  • @KISSmyOSFeddit
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    986 months ago

    I drove through southern England in a camper van. A car coming the other way at a narrow part of the road stopped and the driver motioned for me to wind my window down. I stopped beside him and did so cause I thought he wanted to ask or tell me something. He punched me in the face and drove off.
    To this day I have no idea what that was about, the only explanation I could come up with were my German license plates.

    • @CryophiliaOP
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      556 months ago

      I’m sorry that must have sucked, but that’s a hilarious story

      • @KISSmyOSFeddit
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        416 months ago

        Luckily there isn’t much weight behind an upwards punch from a car seat. He knocked my glasses down, otherwise I was completely bewildered but unhurt.

      • Rob T Firefly
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        136 months ago

        In some towns that makes you the mayor.

      • @KISSmyOSFeddit
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        36 months ago

        No. Most of the world drives on the right lane. The British drive on the correct lane.

        • @nl4real
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          16 months ago

          Throws Tea in the Harbor

  • TotallyNotSpez
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    616 months ago

    Does getting knocked out by walking into a glass door count? Broke my nose, btw.

  • @Sanctus
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    336 months ago

    The only person I have ever punched and been actually punched by is my brother. I forget what we were yelling at in our apartment but we’re twins. We got each other in headlocks and just traded punches to the dome. I’m sure that looked like a cartoon from an outside perspective.

  • @AchtungDrempels
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    136 months ago

    I got jumped out of nowhere by two guys on my way home in the night. It sucked. Couldn’t get it out of my mind for the next six months or so.

    • @CryophiliaOP
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      66 months ago

      Shit, that had to suck. Did they rob you?

      • @AchtungDrempels
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        106 months ago

        No. And it was really also only one good sucker punch, so definitely could have come worse. What messed me up mentally too was that it happened like 200m from my appartment.

        • @other_cat
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          26 months ago

          That’s super traumatic! I’m so sorry that happened to you.

  • @De_Narm
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    96 months ago

    I don’t think I ever got punched in the face. Haven’t even been in a fight.

  • @[email protected]
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    96 months ago

    Threw a man’s belongings off a train because he was listening to music without headphones.

    Worth it.

      • @[email protected]
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        6 months ago

        I was maybe a little inebriated, and he was very rude.

        He had to wait for the next train, and I had a sore jaw for a week. Mild inconveniences al round. I think everyone got what they deserved.

    • @bitwaba
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      76 months ago

      You’re doing God’s work.

  • @PopcornPrincess
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    96 months ago

    My brother and I were dancing at his wedding. He was imitating dance-moves that Mac from IASIP does with his elbows and accidentally bow’ed me in the jaw. It hurt but was pretty funny.

    Same brother as a teen was showing me his shadow-boxing skills and punched my nose. Again it was funny, but it made me cry lol. Obviously I’m the younger sibling…

  • @ThatWeirdGuy1001
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    86 months ago

    I got socked trying to break up a 5 man brawl at a steak n shake.

    Pulled a guy off another guy and he turned around and punched me in the eye. That was right before someone threw a chair through one of the windows.

    Everyone just kinda stopped after that and the dude that punched me apologized.

    That was kind of the end of the whole ordeal as everyone just kinda left real quick.

  • @irotsoma
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    76 months ago

    Only if you count the accidental backhanded punch of my ex-wife while I was having a dream where I got attacked and had to punch someone.

    I’ve never been punched in the face, only had my face full force thrust into a vending machine by a teenage bully when I was like 8 or 9 because I wouldn’t let him cut in the long line at the pool and use the money I had already started putting in the machine.

  • @Glytch
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    56 months ago

    Got punched over the counter while working at a liquor store. The dude had been 6 times already that day to get our cheapest/highest ABV Beer and was back for more when suddenly he decided the price was too high. He argued with me (working solo at the time) and things escalated to the point where he pooped me in the nose. I was able to dodge most of the force of it due to the distance and his drunkenness, but he got the tip of my nose with a clumsy naymaker.

    After he hit me he suddenly had a realization about what he’d done and he ran away as I threatened to call the cops (an empty threat, I live in America and only call the cops when someone might die because calling the American cops might be the cause of someone’s death). Never saw him again.

    The kicker is that he’d already paid for his beer when he started the argument and forgot to grab it as he ran.

  • tiredofsametab
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    46 months ago

    Yeah. Super drunk dude who got thrown out of a bar decided everyone was on his shitlist. Apparently, he was known to the cops. I was standing outside and dude ran up in punched me. I hadn’t said a word to him the whole night. Not sure why he picked me. He appeared to be coked out, so there’s that. He was arrested for something else (DV, I think) not long after.

  • The Assman
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    46 months ago

    Back when MMA was a new thing I did a class. Made my ears ring lol