• @[email protected]
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    292 months ago

    Damn, I missed the “by a” and thought a woman swallowed a python and thought, “fuck yeah, see how you like it, you bastard!”

    Need my coffee.

    • aviationeast
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      202 months ago

      I’d have 3 nickels which isn’t a lot but weird that it happened three times.

  • @Crackhappy
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    162 months ago

    When I was growing up in Jakarta, they found two enormous pythons in the culvert right next to the elementary school. They sacrificed a goat to lure them out, then when they were dated they just packed them up and took them to a local safari park. The smaller one was about 21 feet long, while the bigger one was 24 or 25. Just huge.

    • @[email protected]
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      62 months ago

      Thoar’s a very calculated and mature response to something that could literally eat you children

      • @Crackhappy
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        22 months ago

        They found kraits in culverts next to the kindergarten the next year. They just killed those.

      • @laughterlaughter
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        12 months ago

        On a side note, mosquitos can literally eat your children too. Pineapple too.

  • @over_clox
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    82 months ago

    I dunno what would be a better attempt at self defense against such large snakes, but I think I’d start carrying around both pepper spray and also a stun gun, just in case.

    No idea if either would be fully effective, but damn that would be a hell of a way to go, might as well try to be prepared to defend myself.

    • @YaDownWitCPP
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      182 months ago

      I’ll take a machete and a shot gun thanks.

      • edric
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        102 months ago

        That’s if you spot it before it grabs you. I imagine it’s gonna be hard to aim a shotgun or swing a machete once the snake starts constricting you.

        • Pennomi
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          82 months ago

          The one thing snakes like this do quickly is grab and coil around their prey. Everything else is slow slow slow. You’d really need some sort of pepper spray in a breakable tube that activates upon constriction. Hmmmmm….

      • @over_clox
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        102 months ago

        You spelled flamethrower wrong.

        • @OZFive
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          92 months ago

          Your autocorrect accidentally replaced the word aerial bombing.

    • @[email protected]
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      2 months ago

      I used to use rubbing alcohol on my pet snake’s nose if he accidentally latched onto me instead of his food. I don’t have any idea if that would work on snakes that kill by constriction though

      • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet
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        112 months ago

        Just politely ask the snake that is eating you to wait a minute while you get your alcohol and cotton balls ready.

      • @over_clox
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        2 months ago

        Fair enough, seems a handy enough trick.

        In that case, I’d probably carry around a super soaker water gun loaded with some strong alcohol, and just hope I’d be able to shoot it at a distance before it gets close enough to wrap around me.

        Could also in a pinch light the alcohol on fire as a crude flamethrower, packing a double punch…

        • oleorunOPM
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          102 months ago

          Cue pissed-off flaming snek coming at you fast…

          • @over_clox
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            42 months ago

            Damn, you’re right. Welp, guess I’ll bring my chainsaw too…

        • @laughterlaughter
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          22 months ago

          All these assume that you’ll see the snake before it latches onto you.

    • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet
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      42 months ago

      I’m assuming the person has at least one hand free. A big “that’s not a noife, this is a noife” would solve the problem lickety split. If both arms are pinned then there isn’t much you can do. Try to bite it I guess, but they’re used to being bitten by animals much more ferocious than humans.

      • @Buddahriffic
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        42 months ago

        Wear a special constrictor armor that deploys buzz saws if it’s ever squeezed with enough force to break ribs.

      • @YaDownWitCPP
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        32 months ago

        Snek scoffs at humans’ tiny bite force.

  • THCDenton
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    12 months ago

    Thats so fucked.