I would be responsible for creating more and more paper forms which have to be filled by hand before each task.

PS: Can you guess what I’m doing now?

  • @Darkard
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    2 months ago

    Whatever the guys in MS Cloudstrike did today.

  • @ShortFuse
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    292 months ago

    I write code for those who pay me money.

    I delete code of people who don’t pay me.

  • @aeronmelon
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    232 months ago

    I’m a teacher, so I guess now I spread misinformation on social media for a living. 🤡

  • The Snark Urge
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    192 months ago

    I think the exact opposite would turn me into a literal pirate; stealing money in a way that statistically increases the risks of maritime commercial ventures.

  • @Pappabosley
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    152 months ago

    I make sure people don’t talk to each other about what they’re working on and hide important information they need to complete tasks. Sometimes I’ll advise them to work on the wrong thing for a long time.

    In my spare moments I delete the data in reports and unpivot tables.

  • Caveman
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    132 months ago

    I fix software bugs

    • atro_city
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      fedilink
      32 months ago

      Probably how governments want to solve joblessness, just like the Germans in the second world war forced their population to build highways by hand.

  • @hOrni
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    122 months ago

    I am now loving my job.

  • qevlarr
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    112 months ago

    I have a job! Woohoo!

  • @Feathercrown
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    112 months ago

    Software engineer here. I’d become the worst thing I can imagine… a user.

  • @digilec
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    112 months ago

    I write software that scours the internet for porn and other NSL content, then sends it to school kids.

    • gilgameth
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      32 months ago

      Jesus fucking Christ =)))

  • @Mighty
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    92 months ago

    Damn I feel like the polar opposite of my job is also my job. But if I try to make it bad, I’d say I would hurt and demotivate children and try to keep them stupid

  • @SirSamuel
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    82 months ago

    I lock people out of their homes and break door hardware.

    Aww geez, I’m a frat boy now

      • @SirSamuel
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        42 months ago

        Yep, and fratboy related calls are a surprising percentage of my income. Poor dears, a perfect combination of preternatural strength and mind-numbing stupidity. Or, as their parents like to think, our future

  • @Gxost
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    72 months ago

    Now I cut features from software one by one

    • @Eylrid
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      132 months ago

      You’ll have a promising career at Google