I thought the onion only did satire?
They’re doing a seminar for fat white men interested in bad hair plugs
This is “Not The Onion” material. It’s real.
i was wondering when the onion would say “fuck it…we’re just going to print straight facts”
When The Onion started, it was EASY to make absurdist political satire. How do you make absurdist political satire in 2024? How do you make up crazier shit than real life???
If anything, they should print seemingly boring, but untrue headlines about tax reform, or international trade policy.
“Just don’t expect any hardballs. Elon is […] unlikely to ask him anything that could harm his election prospects."
I think Elon is just as likely to fuck this up as Trump is. Between the two of them, I’d put a lot of money that he says something that hurts him.
The real question is who will first sniff the chair of the other? I’m betting Elon sniffs Trump’s chair, then Trump sniffs Elon’s chair, then Vance comes last.
Vance is still trying to get off the couch.
Bold of you to assume he reciprocates.
Vance is the footrest. His opportunity comes after everyone else leaves.
Then the janitor actually gets on stage last, because once Vance is gone those chairs need to be thrown away, preferably incinerated.
“Hey, neighbour.”
Edit: “So let’s get down to discussing shit. I feel there is a taint on our relationship because of gas.”
This interview may be tainted.
The Tainterview of the century.
Which one is which?
Business genius becomes podcaster in next business venture.
The Onion, telling it like it is since 2016
