• Ellia Plissken
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    fedilink
    English
    63 months ago

    “sorry I was driving so fast, officer, your wife offered to show me her tits and I couldn’t get away fast enough”

  • @Death_Equity
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    43 months ago

    “I swear, there is only one body in this vehicle.”

    Technically correct if you are the only person(living or not) in the car, but the phrasing just leads to further questions and a greater delay.

  • @Death_Equity
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    43 months ago

    “Hello there, license and proof of insurance please?”

    “There are no drugs in this vehicle, that you will find.”

  • Rhynoplaz
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    33 months ago

    The other day we were playing a game (Quiplash, if anyone is familiar) and the prompt was: Three words that will get you out of a speeding ticket.

    My eleven year old daughter submitted: I suck toes.

    How worried should I be? 😬

    • @Death_Equity
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      33 months ago

      Parenting is hard.

      Don’t kink shame, but it is early for her to explore such interests.

  • ThePowerOfGeek
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    33 months ago

    Sorry occifer, I just need to get home before my beer gets too warm.

  • @Spiralvortexisalie
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    23 months ago

    I’ll bip your bop if you let me play with your shooter Mr. Officer.