• @ThePyroPython
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    2 months ago

    Remember, you’re a ghost piloting a walking tent of bone, blood, and flesh using a grey jelly computer running on ConfusedMeat_OS.

    As is everyone and everything living that you know.

    • @Okokimup
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      252 months ago

      Also, you’re being co-habited by just a massive amount of bacteria, each of which has their own priorities.

  • @[email protected]
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    2 months ago

    Literally just got out of the hospital from a fall in the bathroom the other day. Got to ride the wee woo wagon and everything and don’t remember any of it.

    Edit: I’ve got two black eyes, what’ll probably be a forehead scar, and a very sore body.

    • @[email protected]
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      202 months ago

      Oh and we’ve got some drywall work to do because while I got the blood stains off (apparently made a bit of a mess after I got knocked unconscious), I also ripped the toilet paper holder off the wall and put a good hit in on the heater in the fall. Got pictures too if anybody ever thinks the infomercials about seniors falling were being overdramatic, I’m in my 20s.

          • @ThatWeirdGuy1001
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            62 months ago

            Damn bro glad your okay. That could’ve been brain damage.

          • @Ifera
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            2 months ago

            Adorable eyeshadow, my darling. Also, glad you’re OK, here is hoping you recover soon ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️
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    272 months ago

    I don’t like that so many shower doors are glass. I can’t stop myself constantly imagining a Final Destination situation where I slip, fall into the door, shatter the glass and decapitate myself.

    • @SparrowRanjitScaur
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      2 months ago

      I believe they’re usually tempered so they don’t break in large pieces. They usually shatter into small rounded pieces. Source: My cousin broke our shower stall.

  • FauxPseudo
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    222 months ago

    I was on digging trenches in the yard for sprinklers when my then girlfriend came out onto the porch. She was kind of staring off into space. “What’s up?” " I just got a phone call. My mom died." “Congratulations.” “Thank you.”

    She was a new girlfriend and I did not know anything about the history between her and her mom. But apparently my response was exactly the right one. Mom had slipped and died in her bathroom.

    • @[email protected]
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      2 months ago

      She was a new girlfriend and I did not know anything about the history between her and her mom. But apparently my response was exactly the right one.

      Talk about high risk low to medium reward, holy shit what a daredevil

      • FauxPseudo
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        162 months ago

        Each person that has ever dated me has understood that I will never react appropriately in a social situation. Not because I act out of spite but because I have zero clue as to what I’m doing.

  • Bob
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    202 months ago

    Sometimes people fall from an aircraft and bounce jovially off the ground; sometimes people turn their heads too quickly and tear the fabric keeping their windpipe in place.

  • @RoidingOldMan
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    152 months ago

    Or when you’re on the treadmill and then one of your steps is an inch too far to the side.

  • @son_named_bort
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    42 months ago

    What if I’m taking a shower and I slip on a bar of soap?

    OH MY GOD I’D BE KILLED!

    • @P00ptart
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      42 months ago

      By the colonel, in the kitchen, with a giant vibrator.