Has anyone gotten this feeling before? For a long time my life was forced to go in a direction I didn’t want it to but I had no choice but to passively accept and deal with where I was being lead. So I think it might be a learnt behavior. I know this isn’t a relationship_advice thing but it feels relevant. (Fyi I am not a vulnerable girl being exploited, but perhaps advice applicable to them might help me too)
Something to do with feeling you don’t deserve it.
Just stop it. There is nothing you need to deserve. Enjoy breathing air and watching the sunset.
You have the right to be here and you have the right to be happy even. Don’t self hate just because the matrix keeps telling you you are not good enough. You are good enough.
Now venture out into the world as a new person. :)
But one thing. At least for me, how I feel about myself is strongly connected to how I feel I’m treating others. I couldn’t be a piece of shit and feel good about myself. Some people can but not me. I have the feeling we are supposed to be good. Sue me. :)
Struggle gives you a distraction
From what?
deeper struggles. crawling out of a car wreck distracts you from your career prospects. your job interview distracts you from your soulmate vacancy. your orgasm distracts you from your housing situation. your home improvement project distracts you from your poisoned food water and air. your organic farming distracts you from your impending fascist takeover. etc etc
Being worried about the present keeps the mind from focusing on the deeper stuff, at least for me.
I’ve self sabotaged many relationships this way. It’s kind of similar to functioning better under pressure in my case, and it could be due to a whole host of psychological underpinnings like feeling undeserving or being acclimated to struggle. I feel out of my element when things are going well a lot of the time.
Thanks for coming to my therapy session.
And how do you feel about that?
The times that I’ve felt like that were the times what I had wasn’t really what I wanted. Accepting the situation felt like I wasn’t being true to myself.
forlorn with 'for now’s
