Gnomes are so hostile. Last night I was walking in the woods and a dozen of them jumped out of the bushes and forcefully mended my shoes.

I saw a gnome at a grocery store in the forest yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for shoes or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen toadstools in his hands without paying.
The maiden at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the toadstools and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each toadstool and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.