1 left sock
And much further down the list
1 right sock
Deez nuts
Edit: Which I recently found is a real brand of nuts. Dee’s Nutz, I believe. So be careful or you may just end up with some unexpected, delicious peanuts to snack on.
1 flux capacitor
2 positrons
1 hug
1 thingamajig
3 liters of blinker fluid
one simple manual excavator
1 mol of oxygen
1 µg of unobtanium
1 grimoir for casting spells
1 ring to rule them all
50 melons for grade school math problem*mol
“1 hug” is a regular addition to my fiancé’s list when she asks me if there’s anything I need. It’s a great addition because then I get my hug!
50 melons for grade school math problem
Actually I think I’m gonna start with:
“(10x-0.5)/2 snickers bars, where x is how much of my snickers you ate, you asshole.”
While not very humorous, some of the most useful permanent items on our shared shopping list include “That spice that ran out” and “That thing I was looking for the other day”. They’ve saved the day a few times over ten or so years.
This is so stupid and completely genius at the same time. It would absolutely work for me.
I occasionally put “magic beans” on there :-)
classic
NO magic beans!
This should be its own form of joke, like the Aristocrats. Come up with the wierdest most depraved shopping list(s)
Amazing present for insert your own name here
I honestly pop in ‘yo butt’ into our shared shopping list and it usually gets an eye roll.
Male: condoms, canteloupe, watermelon, Vaseline Female:condoms, squash, cucumber, carrots,
As an aside, do not use Vaseline with condoms. In addition to it not being body safe for internal use, some condoms are still latex and vaseline will dissolve them. Most condoms these days are nitrile, but again see above re: internal insertion safety.
I feel like this only works if those are the only items on the list. If you also have apples, berries, potatoes, onions, shampoo and toothpaste, it’s just a normal shopping list.
Duck tape, shovel, condom
I’d add a couple of things to that list:
- Duct tape
- Rope
- Burlap bag
- Shovel
- Condom
What about dog biscuits as well?
Oh yes, but that needs to be first on the list for sure.
Edit: on second thought, make it last on the list. It tells more of a story.
Peanut butter, duct tape, skateboard, kitestring…
