• @[email protected]
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    1263 months ago

    i always wanted to go the extra mile, synergize, get the ball rolling, move the needle, think outside the box, and get out of my comfort zone. permanently

    • @RadicalEagle
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      613 months ago

      I’m glad I got the opportunity to leverage my skills and knowledge in order to drive customer engagement and deliver wins as a team.

      • @[email protected]
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        113 months ago

        Exactly! Nowadays hardly anyone thinks about the shareholders!! Think about the shareholders!!!

        • @PauloPelle
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          53 months ago

          Oh I always think of the Shareholders! Like how to jettison them into the sun or send them to the bottom of the sea to get the most value!

    • @NocturnalMorning
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      333 months ago

      Don’t forget to over deliver and under promise. You’ll get paid the same, but it will make somebody else boatloads more money.

      • @[email protected]
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        113 months ago

        I prefer to talk out my ass and then get started and realize that what I promised is way harder than I thought and then have no life while I manic-panic my way to delivering, somehow.

    • @nomous
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      163 months ago

      I just need to touch base so we can circle back.

    • @danc4498
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      163 months ago

      I knew what synergy was and I wanted it.

    • @ChickenLadyLovesLife
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      43 months ago

      You forget to mention that you wanted to do all this going forward.

    • @ikidd
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      13 months ago

      All through a single pane of glass.

  • @[email protected]
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    413 months ago

    It’s the hyperspecialization that is the problem. To ease the training of the labor force, they wanted to specialize everyone. However, generalists have their value too, as they act as the glue. But, management have forgotten that. All they care about employees that fit their small niche, which makes it hard for them to get employees and for others to get a job. I have given many interviews, where I was not as good with the manager’s niche and that sucked ass because whatever knowledge I am missing, I could easily learn it while working because I focussed to learning how to learn too. But, that was not good enough.

    • @[email protected]
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      193 months ago

      It’s so funny how colleagues and employees act as though their job is so niche no one could do it. Bro, YOU did it and you’re just some andy (respectfully). Anyone can do it.

      • @[email protected]
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        113 months ago

        I’ve seen some meme’s about imposter syndrome along the lines of “If it was really important, wouldn’t they get someone better to take care of it?” and they’ve actually helped me relax quite a bit about my work responsibilities.

        Also, I want others to be able to do my job. Being the only person where I work familiar with my shit is such a pain in the ass! I want to work on new stuff, not be cursed to answer the same damn questions every day because no one can be bothered to read the documentation I wrote.

        • @[email protected]
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          33 months ago

          Absolutely my mind set - “Oh, so this is the bar? Okay…”

          Frankly it just makes me sad at this point.

      • @[email protected]
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        53 months ago

        Yeah, I feel like any job should be doable by a wide range of people. I mean, the advantages are fairly obvious. I don’t know why would anyone want their jobs to be niche. If there is any work that is only doable by a handful of people, either change the way you do things or train more people to do it. At least that is what I believe.

    • @ChickenLadyLovesLife
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      73 months ago

      I used to be a programmer and probably my best strength was my ability to talk to clients, understand their needs, and design software that satisfied those needs. There are absolutely no certifications or formal qualifications of any kind for this in the programming world and employers do not look for it or give it any weight at all when filling positions, despite its obvious importance to the success of projects.

      • @[email protected]
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        3 months ago

        But, you don’t have 5 years of Javascript, Php, angular, react, python, c++, Kubernetes, Docker, AWS, Azure experience. How is a manager supposed to hire you?

        In all seriousness though, I remember a project where we were supposed to do Point Cloud Segmentation, essentially classify which point belongs to what object. Problem was, I didn’t know the subject and there are no good textbooks because it is not yet a well formalized discipline. So, I asked my manager to buy me a course, which should give me and the team a foundation to stand up on. But, they said no. How is one supposed to do a project without actually knowing the subject, especially when most of the subject is locked behind papers that are not easily accessible.

    • @[email protected]
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      23 months ago

      Its annoying because they want you to be a specialist in the interview then once you get on the job it’s very generalized work and your knowledge is rarely utilized. I swear so many jobs have no idea what they’re hiring for.

  • Flying Squid
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    343 months ago

    I wished to sit in an open plan office where everyone could see me scratch my ass while all conversation and meetings were done via Slack and Zoom, even if we were next to each other.

    • @ChickenLadyLovesLife
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      73 months ago

      I essentially quit the programming profession because of fucking open office plans. Just an absolute nightmare as far as actual productive coding environments are concerned.

      • Rayquetzalcoatl
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        93 months ago

        They’re the wet dreams of marketing departments the world over, but genuinely shit for everyone who has to concentrate on their work lol

      • @AWittyUsername
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        53 months ago

        Modern “open plan” offices with hot desking bullshit are not designed for neurodivergent people which are generally drawn to programming.

        • Cakey
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          13 months ago

          Even when if not neurodivergent ( allegedly ) they are not designed for programmers

    • socsa
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      53 months ago

      At least on slack there is a searchable archive created from the interaction.

      • @[email protected]
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        43 months ago

        Yeah do I really need a searchable archive of FlyingSquid scratching his ass?

        Actually. Yeah, sign me up.

      • Flying Squid
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        13 months ago

        Sure, but we would literally be right next to each other and just talk via Slack. It was stupid.

        • socsa
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          3 months ago

          I am the kind of neurodivergent where I really need that kind of built in organization, so from all of us megADHD folks out there we really appreciate your patience.

          • Flying Squid
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            13 months ago

            That does make sense, but I guarantee you that few of the people I worked with were neurodivergent based on break room chatter.

  • @tpihkal
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    283 months ago

    Ooo! Are we playing Corporate Lingo Bingo?

  • @[email protected]
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    213 months ago

    I just love waking up to a flurry of emails from my boss frantically asking me to do basic tasks. It’s how I know I’m a valued team member! And I do this for less and less every year due to the fact the raises are never high enough to counter inflation.

    They keep telling me I’ll be rich soon, guys! Oh man, I wish I were kidding…

  • @IsThisAnAI
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    183 months ago

    Getting paid 130k+ a year is a pretty good life for writing emails.

    • @eskimofry
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      33 months ago

      Its essentially a trade of your soul for writing emails.

      • @IsThisAnAI
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        13 months ago

        Meh. I work 35 actual hours in front of a keyboard. I have my days but I’m happy and mostly fulfilled.

        • @eskimofry
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          12 months ago

          I do the same… and i guess i am burnt out by lack of interesting and consistent work to do.

          aspects of my job I absolutely hate:

          1. Maintaining a DLL( or shared object) in a large piece of software where my team’s scope is so narrow that we are just a conduit between two other processes. bugs get introduced by behavioral changes from upstream or downstream.

          2. No real exiciting problem to solve.

          I learnt Compiler design, Complexity theory, Concurrency, Algorithms, etc in college. But I look at bad code that does if (boolvar) return 1; else return 0;

          1. Constantly get shuffled around on tasks by my manager who goes into panic mode if his supervisor asks about something.
  • @whotookkarl
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    163 months ago

    Everyone wants to touch my base and I haven’t even started building one yet

    • Blackout
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      33 months ago

      It was worse in the 80s. Everyone wanted to follow up Mañana. Who is this Mañana?

  • @danc4498
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    133 months ago

    Is this Patrick Bateman? Cause I’m reading this in his voice.

  • @[email protected]
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    63 months ago

    Ever since I was a

    sophomore in college(?)

    I knew I wanted to

    work cross functionally across teams

    Otherwise I might be in yesterday’s Excel meme 😳 only a lil Excel/GSheets pls

  • @[email protected]
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    23 months ago

    I think I actually did.

    I always got told I could do whatever I wanted and didn’t know what I wanted to do. But I figured I didn’t want to do anything manual into old age so ruled that out. I knew I wanted to do a lot of different things and work with different people. But talking can be difficult.

    Emails and working together with lots of other people and working on problem is great. Wearing a suit and making big decision seemed really interesting.

    Work in general sucks but it beats the alternatives. Everyone on this website comes across as somewhat autistic. Dealing with people isn’t the end of the world.

      • @[email protected]
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        23 months ago

        Rather that, than work in an office, but not exactly that either. I wanted to do something that involves working with my hands, so I became a plumber, but nowdays I’ve got my own company and do other renovation jobs as well.

  • @[email protected]
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    -23 months ago

    This guy wouldn’t use an S to pluralize “e-mail”. The UK school system didn’t leave children behind.