• @jpreston2005
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    105 hours ago

    They definitely thought it was hilarious to keep drugs in that bag. However;

    Officers on Tuesday night stopped a man and a woman driving a stolen car in Southeast Portland, and they found much more than a stolen car

    They broke the most important rule. When breaking the law, only break one at a time. If you’re gonna carry around your fun joke drug bag, don’t do it while driving a stolen car.

  • @CatZoomies
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    2910 hours ago

    If this dude registered as a Sovereign Citizen, he would have been fine!

    I’ll show you:

    Police: “What’s in the bag? Does that say ‘no drugs’ on it??”

    SovCit: “I never entered into a contract with you!”

    Police: Snatches bag and starts digging.

    SovCit: “Neither the individual nor the STRAW MAN contracted with —- please stop!”

    Police: Tackles SovCit

    SovCit: “I swear this bag is not from the TRUSTEE or the STRAW MAN. It ain’t my bag. Do you have a claim against me because I’m — bro, maritime laws!!”

    Hmm… I guess this doesn’t work out after all.

    • Flying SquidOP
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      87 hours ago

      They paid $2000 to a guy they saw on YouTube to learn how to be tackled by that cop.

      • @CatZoomies
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        57 hours ago

        LOL the investment pays for itself. Surely it will work next time!

    • @TexasDrunk
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      209 hours ago

      You forgot the part where they yelled “Without prejudice!” and signed their bag in blue ink at a 45° angle.

      • @CatZoomies
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        129 hours ago

        Drat, I failed us here! I forgot to invoke the sacred spells!

        • @vortexsurfer
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          4 hours ago

          You should also say/yell “I do not consent!”, because it’s illegal to search or arrest someone without their consent. It was a popular spell a few years ago, but I don’t see it being used much anymore, so it’s possible that the cops have found a counterspell. 😉

    • @jaybone
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      68 hours ago

      I am just transporting a bag. The contents are not officially licensed to be regulated by the state.

  • @rockSlayer
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    5212 hours ago

    I can’t believe someone would violate the unshaking honor of the words printed on a bag like this

  • @[email protected]
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    10 hours ago

    This is the kind of thing Chief Wiggum would proudly hold a press conference about while the thieves are carting away city hall in the background.

      • @[email protected]
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        fedilink
        39 hours ago

        Now I want to see two meth heads play chess, itll either be the most riveting game of chess or a gladiatorial matchup either way I am entertained.

    • Flying SquidOP
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      1010 hours ago

      He must have been. “Trust me, bro” always works with cops. He probably even told the officer, “you’ve got to tell me if you’re a cop. You know that, right?”