• Kyrgizion
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    6 months ago

    “What is my purpose?”

    “You give handies to Elon Musk.”

    “Oh God.”

  • wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    6 months ago

    Gross misuse of technology.

    We’re just going to ignore that there are open source plans online for motorized multi-axis articulated under-desk fleshlight mounts, and a library of videos with 1:1 motion mapping? Plus it has safety controls to ensure it doesn’t snap the “cylinder”.

    Go green! No need for a whole robot when you’re only looking to use a single part.

    (I mostly just wanted to curse others with knowledge of the robo-vagina. Can’t find the github anymore because a bunch of companies got in on it and dominate the search results now)

    • Dasus
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      6 months ago

      We’re just going to ignore that there are open source plans online for motorized multi-axis articulated under-desk fleshlight mounts, and a library of videos with 1:1 motion mapping? Plus it has safety controls to ensure it doesn’t snap the “cylinder”.

      I was not aware, but I’m proud of the community who did that.

  • reev@sh.itjust.works
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    6 months ago

    “You slipped and fell?”

    “Yes.”

    “Penis first?”

    “Yes, now get me out of here.”

    • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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      6 months ago

      “I don’t know why patients try to lie. It’s not like it’s a big deal”

      [patient walks in with a butt object]

      “Oh gee, how’d it happen?”

      All they gotta do is not ask. I assume it’s not medically relevant. Dude’s got a cucumber in his butt, everybody knows how it happened. What’s the point in asking?

      • Entropywins
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        6 months ago

        You’ve obviously not had the same sorts of completely innocent accidents I’ve had throughout my life.

      • luciferofastora@lemmy.zip
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        6 months ago

        Probably to make the patient squirm and see what excuse they come up with so the job isn’t as drab?

        More seriously, they need to know the circumstances of any accident to be aware of potential other complications or risk factors. That’s just a standard question they have to ask.

        • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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          6 months ago

          Do they ask the same way if an object is in a nose? “How’d the pea get up there kid? Did you fall on it?

  • mechoman444
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    6 months ago

    It’s his penis. The cylinder is his penis.

    • themeatbridge
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      6 months ago

      It’s an old meme from Reddit. Guy got his penis stuck in an m&ms tube.

      • Zorque
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        6 months ago

        People have been getting their penis stuck in things for as long as there have been holes.

        • themeatbridge
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          6 months ago

          When I was in high school, my biology class did a stream study, and the class funny guy was documenting it with a big vhs camcorder. I was standing next to him when he saw a broken drain pipe sticking out of a wall. He pointed the camera at the pipe, and called to me. “Hey, themeatbridge. See that hole? Don’t stick your dick in that hole.”

          I laughed, because it was funny, and the class also thought it was funny when we watched it later. So funny that it became the thing everyone said to me for about 6 months. “Hey, themeatbridge, see that outlet?” “Hey, the meatbridge, see that taco?” You get the idea. I became known as the guy who has to be told not to stick his dick in things.

          It was almost 30 years ago, and I still have ptsd from it.

    • werefreeatlastBanned
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      6 months ago

      I also agree! I just want to clarify that I knew it was his penis before actually reading this comment because I’m smart too.

  • pigup
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    6 months ago

    There he goes again inventing things that already exist…

  • schema
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    6 months ago

    Just tell the tesla employee that comes with the robot to fake its autonomy to let go.

  • Hupf@feddit.org
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    6 months ago

    So long as the robot doesn’t accidentally drop raw chicken on the cylinder

  • Anticorp
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    6 months ago

    1" diameter

    Oof! Self burn.

    • Pacattack57
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      6 months ago

      Let’s hear your measurements big guy

      • Agrivar
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        6 months ago

        Geez, I hope you don’t think your 1" circumference is something to write home about!

        • Aqarius
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          6 months ago

          Diameter is not circumference.

          • Agrivar
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            6 months ago

            Duh. I was making a joke, implying that Pacattack didn’t know the difference.

  • Jake Farm@sopuli.xyz
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    6 months ago

    This is the second post I have seen where someone has their cylinder stuck in something is this a meme now?

  • Num10ck
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    6 months ago

    would a cylinder measurement assumed to be in circumference or diameter?

    • voracitude
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      6 months ago

      Well, since he said “diameter” in the post, I think I found your answer.

      • Anticorp
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        6 months ago

        But what if I went to the Zoolander School for Kids who don’t Read Good?

        • Death_Equity
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          6 months ago

          There is no way you went there, the school was way too small.

            • Death_Equity
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              6 months ago

              I question the effort you put into posting over serving the needs of the colony.

              • Anticorp
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                6 months ago

                Okay, you got me there. I’m not an ant! There. I said it!

    • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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      6 months ago

      Neither I think it’s just a total surface area so. All sorts of ways to arrange that topology