• @DaMonsterKnees
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    191 month ago

    Tell you what you’re gonna wanna do. Find this fools tree, and cut that shit down. Cheers!

  • @dread
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    181 month ago

    Unfortunately, acts of a god almost always extinguish obligations. Try living inside a fish’s mouth instead, might be more cost-effective.

    • Flying SquidOPM
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      141 month ago

      I tried living in the belly of a fish, but they kicked me out after three days.

      Rude.

      • rhsJack
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        41 month ago

        Same. Like, I took ONE slice of pizza from the fridge. I saw most of a pie in there, no notes or nothing, hey…we are a community. We feed each other. And it was only a coupla slices. But no I am out on the street and pounding my sandals for a new dive.

  • @undergroundoverground
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    111 month ago

    Have you tried cutting your foreskin off and burning it to appease said Jerk? I’m told they like that kind of sick stuff. Failing that, he’s partial to blood magic and or ritual killings.

    Whatever you do though, don’t make bronze images of him as a bull and try to appease that instead, like we used to do for hundreds of years. He hates that kind of thing now days and we all have to pretend we didn’t used to do that.

    • Flying SquidOPM
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      71 month ago

      Damn it, I have this bull all ready…

  • @PugJesus
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    English
    91 month ago

    Check to see if their contract with their god actually covers that service, I’m pretty sure those holy covenants are strict by-the-letter deals

    • Flying SquidOPM
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      111 month ago

      That’s what I’m worried about. Last time my house got smited with a lightning bolt, my insurance company told me that acts of god weren’t insurable.

      • rhsJack
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        41 month ago

        Quick renters’ question: what about flooding?

        • Flying SquidOPM
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          31 month ago

          I hear that happened way back in everyone’s great-grandfather’s day, but the animals have since dispersed and there was a rainbow.

  • NegativeNullM
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    8
    edit-2
    1 month ago

    Did they march around the walls a few times as well? If so, you may be f#&-$@

    Edit: wow, I can’t type on my phone this morning

    • Flying SquidOPM
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      91 month ago

      If you mean wall, yes. The only thing that marches around my waste is all that baklava I’ve been eating.

    • Flying SquidOPM
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      91 month ago

      Jericho. Duh. Those Babylonian weirdos play trumpets inside the city and what’s an Asgard?

  • bizarroland
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    fedilink
    71 month ago

    I read through your policy and the cuneiform clearly states that you’re not insured in Acts of God and the person who blew the trumpet according to his 144,000 followers is a prophet of God and therefore we are not responsible or covering your damages.

    Thank you for insuring your home with Babylon Express

  • @[email protected]
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    fedilink
    31 month ago

    Not sure about legal, but have you tried using a bronze mirror to shine light in his eyes? I hear it can be very effective if applied correctly…