Would it be possible to please make notifications last a whole minute? I really want to enjoy my notifications during a movie.

Also, I really love how I can’t quickly just close the notifications. Could you guys please just lock up my phone or something?

Uh, I know! I know one! When the low battery notification comes on, switch the phone to full brightness and turn on the flashlight! And like be sure to cover the entire useful window for a minute or two so the user can be made aware of the importance!

And please do interrupt whatever I’m doing, whenever a guy just wants to call my phone number. That makes it easier for me to just call other people to do the same. And when a call comes in, those are the 3 things I want to do, either Answer, screen or hang-up. I sure wouldn’t want to totally ignore a phonecall regardless of who it was. Specially not during a movie or while having sex. Please call others so they can call me.

When I’m driving, don’t use the GPS to do useful things like call blocking! Nah. That data is important, send it to Coke so they know where to sell me more! Please do let me know about Coke or a call about the candidates while I’m about to exit the freeway. Block the entire screen and minimize my GPS. Truly appreciated!

Thanks Android!

  • Onno (VK6FLAB)
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    1128 days ago

    You didn’t mention audio.

    I particularly love the feature where you can only listen to music by turning off “Do Not Disturb”, because that way my morning walk is guaranteed to be interrupted by some random caller wanting to tell me that Bill Gates personally wants to give me money, rather than listening to the music I had queued up as I walked out the front door.

    Oh, also, the predictive keyboard is brilliant, it forgets common words after about a week, so then you are forced to spend extra time typing the same thing again and again, which is great for finger dexterity training. Speaking of which, I absolutely love the autocorrect which changes words completely out of context, even if you spelled the word correctly, not to mention that adding an “s” to a long word to get a plural requires that you type the entire word.

    • @pycorax
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      428 days ago

      feature where you can only listen to music by turning off “Do Not Disturb”

      What phone are you using which does this?

      • @Ziglin
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        127 days ago

        My phones (stock Google android and GrapheneOS) both had settings for do not disturb mode where media playback can be disabled. I assume that’s causing the issue but for me it was not default.

      • Onno (VK6FLAB)
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        028 days ago

        It’s a Nokia X20, running stock Android, currently 14, but it’s been that way on Android for as long as I remember.

        • Ghoelian
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          627 days ago

          That’s gotta be a Nokia thing. I’ve been listening to music with do not disturb on when sleeping for years, never been an issue on samsung, oneplus, huawei, or pixel phones I’ve had.

        • @pycorax
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          327 days ago

          That’s pretty stupid of a feature. Never knew that was a thing since I think Samsung implements their Do Not Disturb functionality differently.

  • @ilinamorato
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    727 days ago

    You can definitely swipe up on a notification to make it go away without dismissing it.

    Honestly, just make this habit: whenever you see a non-actionable notification, before you swipe it away, long press it and hit “turn off notifications.” Then you can go through that app’s list and choose the ones you need—or turn the app’s notification off completely!

    For ones you want to show up, but don’t want interrupting you, switch their delivery to Silent and Minimized.

    Be ruthless with your notifications. You’ll feel a lot better.

  • @[email protected]
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    428 days ago

    what android os/rom are you on? I don’t think I’ve used an android phone in the last decade where although yes, that behavior is possible I would have to go out of my way to configure it that way

    • @werefreeatlastOP
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      -628 days ago

      Just whatever the latest vanilla android from Google there’s for Motorola phones. I don’t know, I’m not a rocket microbiologist.

  • @[email protected]
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    227 days ago

    I really want to know what you’re talking about. I have a Motorola phone and it doesn’t do these things.

  • @Sam_Bass
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    128 days ago

    vanilla 14. got notifications turned off for everything that allows it