• @HowManyNimons
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    31 hour ago

    I’ve been smashing my own avocados like a chump!

  • @fne8w2ah
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    2610 hours ago

    Or what about having rich parents or relatives?

    • @ladicius
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      2010 hours ago

      Step 1: Be rich.

      Step 2: Don’t be unrich.

  • @[email protected]
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    04 hours ago

    Being a millionaire is easily doable now on a regular 9-5 job if you’re paid fairly. In my city at least, I can tell you that a software dev can reach millionaire status within about 20 years of work. No fraud needed unless you count ETF investments or software dev as fraud.

  • Diplomjodler
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    910 hours ago

    Have you tried having rich parents?

  • @Heisenburner
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    3313 hours ago

    the primary habit of successful people is fucking over ignorant poor people who don’t realize they’re being fucked over

    • NutWrench
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      46 hours ago

      Also, make sure you own at least one media giant. Then, you can use it to spread agit-prop about how our society shouldn’t do anything that inconveniences rich a$$holes.

    • volvoxvsmarla
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      1712 hours ago

      I get the feeling that the ultra successful also fuck people over who very well do realize that they are being fucked over

      • @woodenskewer
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        6 hours ago

        I was just at a depressing job fair trying to recruit for maintenance. It was held at a plant set to close in 3 days. Most of the people I talked to were there for 30 years. It was partially employee owned. Somehow a person in power (I don’t know the piece of shit’s title) convinced the employees to sell their share at the promise of expansion and investment.

        The person in power closed the shop, cashed out, and retired. Will not have to worry about a thing. 200 some people and families now have their lives upended at the benefit to few.

        This kind of aligns more with the person you responded to but still relevant.

  • masterofn001
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    4617 hours ago

    My father has not gifted me the bootstraps made from billions in exploited labour, but the exploitation of coffee producers tastes like I’m already there.

    • @[email protected]
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      1614 hours ago

      I tried real hard, but I got born into lower middle class by mistake. My bad, I should’ve tugged harder on my bootstraps while I was an incorporeal potentiality.

  • @[email protected]
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    17 hours ago

    It’s less a lack of willingness - I’m just never presented with opportunities to massively defraud corporations

    • @JordanZ
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      24 hours ago

      You gotta create that opportunity. This guy decided to fake being a real company and started sending invoices to Google and Facebook to the tune of 120 million.

    • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet
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      3217 hours ago

      You don’t defraud corporations, that’ll earn you the scorn of powerful people. You defraud poor people.

      • @[email protected]
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        815 hours ago

        Oh, you can defraud shareholders as well. You just have to tell more compelling lies and secure the right accomplices. Get the auditors on board and you can ride the sinking ship for at least a couple years before you finally run out of cash and the entire organization collapses within a matter of days.

        • @[email protected]
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          25 hours ago

          You don’t stay for years. You smash and grab and bounce to your next gig immediately after getting your quarterly bonuses for unsustainable business practices.

        • MyTurtleSwimsUpsideDown
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          316 hours ago

          But it’s more fun because you get to make more of them.

          /s, because last time I didn’t, people took me seriously…

  • Mayor Poopington
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    6719 hours ago

    I don’t even buy avocado toast, I should be a billionaire by now

    • @[email protected]
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      3016 hours ago

      That’s your problem. If you never buy it in the first place, you can’t stop buying it. You can’t save nothing from nothing!

      Here, let me help you out:

      1. Be rich
      2. Squander your money on avocado toast and greater luxuries
      3. Stop squandering your money on these things
      4. Now you’re rich.

      If you don’t do 2., how can you expect 3. to work?!

  • partial_accumen
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    1416 hours ago

    If anyone is curious if the girl was buying a single $5 coffee per day, contributing that $35 into a basic S&P 500 fund each week, and doing so for 2 years she should have about $4500 in her account. Now, if she’s buying coffee supplies at a grocery store to replace buying it at take out , we’d have to subtract the cost of coffee supplies from the $4500 to know how much she truly saved making coffee at home.

    • @IMALlama
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      25 hours ago

      You got me curious, so I did the math for us.

      I am a drip coffee person, drink far too much coffee (40 oz) throughout the day, and work on a fairly large corporate campus so I have easy access to hot/fresh coffee that I can purchase. Even though there are multiple branded places to get coffee from on campus, they have similar pricing.

      • Small (12 oz): 4x @ $2.65/pop = $10.60/day
      • Medium (16 oz): 3x @ $2.95/pop = $8.85/day
      • Large (20 oz): 2x @ $3.25/pop = $6.50/day. This is obviously the cheapest choice, but will result in a cold bottom half of the cup due to drinking my coffee slowly vs pounding it

      My wife and I split a pot of coffee. It takes us 3 oz of coffee beans to brew it. I can buy a 20 oz bag of the coffee beans we use for $15.29, which works out to $2.30/pot. We often stock up on the beans when they go on sale, but I don’t know what we paid for them the last time around.

      So… since my wife also drinks coffee let’s say that the price spread between purchased already brewed coffee vs brewed at home coffee is between $6.50-$10.60/day. Splitting the difference = $8.85. Doing that 365 days/year = $3,120 saved.

      The fact that I have coworkers who drink a similar quantity of espresso based (more $$) drinks at work is insane.

      Do this over a 25 year career, invest the money monthly ($260), plan for a conservative 5% rete of return and you’ll have $162,577 - only half of which is principal.

      Apply this pattern of thinking over a number of different spending categories and you’ll be way better off financially. That said, the stats on the billionaire class are eye watering and no amount of frugality will catch any of us up to them.

    • volvoxvsmarla
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      16 hours ago

      I calculated that if I only drink coffee at home I spend about 1000€ a year on it.

    • @telllos
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      1014 hours ago

      Providing she doesn’t spiral into a coffee hobby.

      • @IMALlama
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        15 hours ago

        Stay away from espresso and super “high end” artisan beans and you can have a very solid coffee hobby for not a whole lot of $$. We do a mix of drip, French press, and cold brew. The cost per cup is basically the same for each and the equipment was not very expensive.

      • @Karjalan
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        1313 hours ago

        Usually people eat some food and drink some water, as well as the coffee, during their day

        • مهما طال الليل
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          213 hours ago

          Yes, but just one? By noon I am already on my third cup with two or three still left to be had over the afternoon and early evening.

  • @someguy3
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    1119 hours ago

    Must go cheaper: caffeine pills.

    • @Death_Equity
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      814 hours ago

      Caffeine powder. The best part of waking up, is snorting rail of FDA certified caffeine. You WILL have to explain some things to HR, but they will trust your explanation because of everything else in your HR binder.

    • @Hackworth
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      217 hours ago

      Eight O’Clock whole beans fresh ground and percolated to perfection. chef’s kiss