• @[email protected]
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    3 hours ago

    Be me
    Riding motorcycle for leisure
    Come up behind a line of slow cars
    “Bruh 🙄”
    Passing zone, decide “fuck it”, twist throttle
    Zooming past cars in opposite lane
    Lead car turns in front of me as I’m approaching at speed
    It was at this moment he knew… he fucked up
    Barely squeeze by on shoulder
    Pull off onto a side road a mile later to reflect

    Fake and gay, I know.
    Ride smart, friends.

    Still feel bad for the fright I probably gave the driver…

  • @shrodes
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    8 hours ago

    Updated the number of key iterations on my Bitwarden password manager. Logs out every device instantly. It’s fine, just log back in right? Well guess which dodo put their Bitwarden 2 factor OTP inside Bitwarden and nowhere else, and didn’t write down the recovery key or anything. Yeah.

    Lesson learned. Also made me realise how few places that have 2 factor authentication actually care about it for password recovery. I think Bitwarden was the only place with 2 factor where I couldn’t get back in (that I cared about anyway). The rest I was able to get my account back through other means

  • ArtieShaw
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    4517 hours ago

    I was getting a ride home from work with a colleague, which was nice of her because I usually took the bus. We had been friendly for some time, and I never understood why other people at work were creeped out by her. Sure, she could be cold and a bit intimidating in a stereotypical “immigrant from former eastern bloc country” sort of way.

    I would compare her to a pretty, young, athletic and blonde Frau Verbissene. And she was not afraid to be comedically cutting. For example, one day I was mindlessly trying (and failing) to unscrew something and she walked up behind me and dryly said, “I am not native to North America, but in Europe we turn it to the left to loosen bolts.” It’s a little bit mean, but also funny.

    But to the main point, it was that car ride when I found out she was a Nazi. OK - Maybe not an actual Nazi, but a big fan. She explained that in her country, <I’m paraphrasing this next bit, so her words> they had asked the Jews to leave, had tried to incentivize the Jews to leave, but the Jews would not leave. When the Germans came to her country, they fixed that problem.

    “Oh. Shit. I’m carpooling with a Nazi.”

    • @weirdbeardgameOP
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      48 hours ago

      I’m sure you did Nazi that coming … I, I’ll just, see myself out now.

    • @[email protected]
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      516 hours ago

      You know what they say about what happens when you jump into a car with a single Nazi, now you have 2 nazis sitting in a car. JK. Aslo, i should mention, I think you mean to type: "I’m paraphrasing, so no exactly her words since if you’re paraphrasing they wouldn’t be her exact words.

      • ArtieShaw
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        616 hours ago

        “2 Nazis in a car” is exactly my horrified emotion in the moment.

        And it’s true that I didn’t word that correctly, but it happened 20 years ago so the words are not an exact quote. However, they do convey the gist of the conversation. And I really really wanted to make it clear that I’m not the original Nazi in the car.

  • @[email protected]
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    4919 hours ago

    Background: shouting at a cop for violating the rights of a woman and harassing her to tears in an attempt to force her to divulge what she had done that night to implicate herself.

    Cop: shut up

    Me: … or what, are you going to arrest me?

    Cop: <arrests me>

    • @JusticeForPorygon
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      18 hours ago

      I mean… you hadn’t committed a crime? So like… Settlement? Maybe?

      Or maybe settlement for the lady?

      Probably not that would imply cops have consequences for their actions.

      • @[email protected]
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        18 hours ago

        I was charged with resisting/hindering arrest with the justification the officer had to direct his attention at me.

        It was enough to justify, or rather the words of the officer claiming that provided sufficient justification …

        They body camera footage “couldn’t be found” and the charges were dropped.

        I opted for an apology and a go fuck yourself, I also wave at the officer after concerts when I see him and give him the finger. Idk if he remembers me but I remember him. Lmao.

        So lose, win.

  • @[email protected]
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    19 hours ago

    Realized I fucked up half way down a cliff jump into water that was way too high and I broke my back. Having that realization mid air was terrible. I’m very lucky to not be paralyzed from it

    • @[email protected]
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      2319 hours ago

      Damn. I’m sorry that happened, but I’m glad you’re not paralyzed. That must have been truly terrifying.

    • @[email protected]
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      416 hours ago

      How did you hit the water? were you aiming for a belly flop, or dive? or were you just jumping in without thinking of the other? What injuries did you sustain if any?

      • @[email protected]
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        16 hours ago

        Crushed my T-11 vertebrae from my legs bending over my head because I landed leaned back a bit but I also possibly hit the bottom I have no memory of the moment of actual impact. I was freaking out in the air which didn’t help at all. I was also not sober

        • @[email protected]
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          411 hours ago

          Oh dang, so there’s also a chance you hit the bottom of the water as well? Hope you’re fully recovered now.

    • @NeoNachtwaechter
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      318 hours ago

      Curious: how can you even know (or guess) what height is doable?

      • @[email protected]
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        16 hours ago

        Apparently it’s the fuck around and find out method

        I think the cliff was 75 feet above the water but it was the first and last time I was there and could be more. The water had also dropped in depth according to my friends after, due to drought (was a river)

  • @Zirconium
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    814 hours ago

    Making cookies at work, had oven fan on, turned pan sideways and something was preventing it getting all the way in. Pushed that something with the pan and immediately heard a large rattling noise as the something (a thermometer) was rattling around inside the large ass fan.

  • Vanth
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    4319 hours ago

    Driving in snow, I gave myself a good four times the distance to brake like they teach you. It wasn’t enough. I did get it slowed some, under 20mph I would estimate, and rode in slow motion as I rear-ended a brand new, lifted, very expensive looking pickup.

    No injuries, fortunately. That was the most “time dilation” I’ve ever experienced. Somehow it happened so fast but also so slow.

    • @Vandals_handle
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      18 hours ago

      Same feeling, River at Brockway in Truckee, lost traction on an ice patch and time slowed until a crunch, then it caught up. Luckily for me we knew the same people and the cost was fair.

    • @[email protected]
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      1218 hours ago

      Hah I’ve felt this. Same story. Left tons of space, at least that far. But sometimes the I-70 is a bitch, even with winter tires, slow speeds, awd, etc. Not enough though, and I think the awd saved me. I managed to pull up next to the car I would have hit, with literal inches to spare left and right (concrete barrier < me > other car.

      I just looked over at the other driver and we both let out a big sigh of relief .

  • palordrolap
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    3019 hours ago

    Probably a prolonged awkward moment that I couldn’t escape. In chatting to an old friend I bumped into, I let slip that I’d heard something bad had happened to them and asked how they were doing. Rather than answering clearly, they were super interested in finding out who told me in the sort of way that I knew it would be a very bad idea™ for all concerned to reveal that information.

    I can’t remember how I got out of that. I sometimes think I’m still in that moment and all this is a fever dream as my brain tries desperately to escape.

    Honourable mentions: i) Zeroing the wrong partition on my own computer, all data unrecoverable. ii) Deleting all of a customer’s data rather than the one part they wanted removing. Luckily, in that case there were backups.

    Edit: Blind formatting fixes(?)

      • palordrolap
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        218 hours ago

        Hm. I’m guessing that the formatting which works on fedia.io doesn’t work elsewhere. I used _very bad idea_

        • @[email protected]
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          418 hours ago

          It looks (parses) as perfectly fine markdown on Lemmy (lemm.ee), it looks like how the markdown says it should look. The person above seems to want to inject asterisks into what you wrote for their own reasons, you did nothing wrong.

          • @JusticeForPorygon
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            17 hours ago

            It must be the app I’m using. Asterisks work but not underscores for some reason.
            My bad.

            Edit: well shit it worked fine when I typed it what the hell

            Edit: and the original post looks fine now. Ignore this I think I’m going insane.

            • palordrolap
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              114 hours ago

              You’re not going insane… probably. I edited the post to use asterisks which I assumed must be the more commonly used italic markdown. It might also be that the ™ is right after the markdown character which I know can cause some parsers to choke. YouTube’s comment system is a notable nuisance for this.

              • @JusticeForPorygon
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                14 hours ago

                YouTube cant recognize markdown for shit.

                Do underscores work there? Single asterisks bold characters, instead of the traditional double asterisk.

                Edit: it does work. Interesting.

  • @apfelwoiSchoppen
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    19 hours ago

    On a family trip to Seattle, a cousin and I went out to Pike Place before noon to drink and meet up with the rest of the family later for lunch. We both got hammered fairly quickly on a lot of whiskey and lost each other. I apparently decided to lay down and sleep at about 2pm. When I woke up I knew I had a problem, a problem much bigger than getting back safely. I woke on one of the piers after dark, phone dead, had to walk five miles back to my family’s airbnb. Took forever then took another forever (years) to get in good graces with my family. I do not drink to be drunk anymore after that. Love my fam too much to do anything close to that ever again.