• ERROR: Earth.exe has crashed
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    511 month ago

    Always excercise your 2nd amendment rights, you never know when you have to fear for your life and be forced to defend yourself.

    Les call this the CEO Panic Defence

  • dual_sport_dork 🐧🗡️
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    271 month ago

    FSLPT: A staggering variety of everyday objects can be used as a weapon if you are sufficiently motivated and/or pissed off.

    I am certain, for instance, that I could do someone quite a mischief if I whacked them with my ThinkPad.

    • u/lukmly013 💾 (lemmy.sdf.org)
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      81 month ago

      Hell, I could probably break someone’s skull with my brick phone while using strobe mode on the flashlight to disorientate the other party.

    • @[email protected]
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      31 month ago

      Bluetooth speakers have some weight, and it has a string to swing it for more force. It’d probably crack a skull with a hard enough swing.

    • @[email protected]
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      11 month ago

      I was thinking about this when I carried my ThinkPad around

      ‘i could totally fuck someone up with this laptop’

  • morgan423
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    1 month ago

    About 10 years ago, I had my Fortune 500 company’s CEO enter the office gym one day and jump right on the treadmill next to mine (I did not work in the CEO’s home office; he was out and about doing a regional office tour that week). And I had to stay because I was in the middle of a timed program, and had a visible countdown going on my treadmill, and it would have been more memorable for him and weird if I just noped out early.

    Most awkward ten minutes of small talk I’ve ever had to make in my entire life.

    • @[email protected]
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      81 month ago

      That’s why I always wear headphones in the gym. I devinetively don’t want to talk with some “strangers” in the gym.

    • @[email protected]
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      1 month ago

      I bet you wished you threw the treadmill at him! That’s what i woulda wished i could do.

  • Theo
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    51 month ago

    A cracked-out erratic orangutan?

    • @Dadifer
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      31 month ago

      No, a chocolate emperor orange.

      • Theo
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        31 month ago

        I like yours better. Coming up with something that fit was hard lol .