I wrote my resume exclusively in second-person POV, to reel the recruiter in and set the scene for what it would be like to work with me (bad)
You pull up Mister Doctor’s resumé and scan the contents starting with the summary section. Mister Doctor has chosen to write his resumé in second-person perspective you note, hoping to impress you with a spark of originality. You hate it, he has failed.
I’ve read this is the Stanley Parable narrator’s voice, which I assume is the intent.
It was the narrator from Actual Cannibal Shia Lebouf for me
Rob cantor?
ooh, that one is pretty good too
Absolutely same!
I’m reading it like the Broken Earth books.
this just makes me wish my resume ever got read by real humans anymore… at least then i could be cute with it.
Is this… a reasonable take on LinkedIn? wow
They exist! Drowning in a sea of shit, there are nuggets of gold. Have fun digging for them though.
That’s okay, I’ll wait here for the occasional nugget to surface.
Right? Let others more willing to suffer than us do the diving, we’ll just skim their gains off the top.
LifeProTip: exploit the hard work of others for your own profit!
(That’s a joke)
I am about to embark on the absolutely loathsome quest of quickfiring my resume out to 200 tech companies I’ve never heard of with names like Kuttrbox and OpenYum, hoping for a place in their squid games to win a ‘prestigious’ founding role at their startup, and I’m sincerely considering making an absolutely batshit version just to see what happens. Ideas welcomed.
Silicon Valley Quote
Richard: It says here on your resume that from 2010 to 2011 you “crushed it”?
Applicant: That’s actually an old resume. It should also read that I crushed it from 2013 to present.
Jared: So are we to understand that you did not “crush it” in 2012?
Applicant: There was a medical situation preventing me from crushing it to my usual standards. So I had to take some time off until I was able to crush it at 100%, at which point I resumed crushing it full-time.
It is a bit demoralizing to spend thousands of hours mastering a professional skill, only to go on LinkedIn and see every other post is some recruiter proclaiming that if your resume doesn’t use their favorite font, it goes straight in the bin.
Sorry I didn’t major in “Deborah’s Resume Preferences” in college.
Why am I reading this in a Khajiit voice.
Does he offer wares?
If you have coin
Linkedin gives me brain cancer; almost as much as that black mark in the photo.
I didn’t notice. Must’ve done that accidentally while cropping. Will update without mark
Spent a solid minute trying to find the black mark before I saw this reply
I only spent 10-15 seconds, but same. Now I’m very slightly angry.
Petitioning @[email protected] to re-release the black mark version to give us some closure.
OP delivers!
Sweet relief.
One of my least favourite features on android
thank mr shubham 🎺
Where’s Drag when you need drag? That post is for drag!
I blocked that trolling mf such a long time ago and they still were the first person coming to mind lmao
Third person.
😂
Are they the first Lemmy icon? 🤔
Nah, Picard Maneuver is much better and they are everywhere!
They seem to be responsible for every other post on the platform.
I can’t really imagine being that dedicated to Lemmy really. Like do they not have a job?
FlyingSquid and whoever the “no poop” person was ought to be up there as well in terms of notoriety.
What about the guy with the blue block letters?
To all developers here: have you noticed that there is literally no interesting blogs/ write-ups about software? It always bugged me. So much for “professional network” lol
Pretty all technical conversation are on “python for dummies” level
I’ve found deeper conversations but they tend to be on super niche topics, and if it’s anything you’re actually familiar with you’ll discover that 90% of the comments are people who don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about but enjoy presenting as knowledgable.
HackerNews might have more of what you’re looking for, but be warned: nearly everyone on that site is in love with the idea that they are intelligent enough to speak authoratatively on all topics (they are definitively not), and the general culture is that the crazy reality distortion zone of the San Francisco Bay Area/working for startups/working for bug names like Google is an accurate reflection of general reality (it is not).
That’s a large part of the reason why I got my degree yet work in a completely different industry. There’s nothing to captivate my interest except my own work or other people’s projects.
That and “fuck computers.”
What, there’s loads of interesting blogs. Of course you may not find them interesting but that’s kind of on you.
I actually got my degree in business and work as a developer … for almost a decade now. I always find something interesting somewhere, the whole field is infinitely large. I think, if you wanted to captivate your interest, you would be able to!
