One time my wife (girlfriend at the time) and I went to pick up some condoms and then we decided to also get some ice cream and the cashier (older lady) gave us like a 3 second look and I thought she was gonna say something but then I said, “the ice cream’s for a friend” and it was the funniest thing I’ve ever said.
Wife still hasn’t forgiven me. Cashier didn’t say anything. My eyes were watering like crazy as I held in my giggles.
Hasn’t forgiven you? A quick wit like yours is probably why she married you. That’s hella rizz.
Is that when you knew your girlfriend was pregnant. When the dad jokes started flowing naturally like that.
Haha, that’s a good idea, the next time I make a dad joke I’ll say, “oh no, was that a dad joke? You should probably take a pregnancy test, just in case it was.”
Use to work retail. No one gives a shit what you buy.
Last week I bought some items for dinner and the cashier said “looks like you’re making X”. She was right.
What sort of stuff do you even need for ecstasy
Pacifiers, glowsticks, water bottles…
I’m guessing stuff similar to meth as they are both amphetamines.
I miss those times when it was X (formerly known as Twitter).
One time I found a Jon Anderson record at a thrift store. The cashier picked it up, looked at it for 5 seconds, muttered “weird.”, looked at it for 2 more seconds, and put it in the bag. Honestly I thought that was hilarious
I never feel awkward buying condoms. At the worst, it’s a boast that imma get laid. At best it’s normalizing safe sex for younger cashiers who may still be in that bareback or bust phase.
Now, enemas and lube? That’s awkward, that’s announcing to the world I’m a bottom. Lol
The most awkward I ever ever felt as a cashier was when someone’s cart had (among a few other things) condoms, a plunger, and vaseline.
Some day I’ll go buy peanut butter, condoms and dog treats. Just those 3 items. :)
Sounds like a fun time the**
Necrophillic? 😏
💀😍
Oh, you just made me understand the joke. I thought the he thought he was gonna put the condom on the shiver and use it as a dildo, but makes more sense this way.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jEzDwO4Z0iU
One of my favourites from the Headstones, a great Canadian band.
In this particular situation, one time without any thought, I grabbed a huge bottle of baby oil along, the cashier asked what I was using that for, I told her “for lotioning”, thinking I made the worst decision, she replies back with “oh yeah I usually apply baby oil after showering”.
To this day that bottle of baby oil still untouched sitting in my drawer.
Baby oil is great for moisturising just saying
That’s what self checkout or online shopping is for.
No that’s for vegetables
"What are you planning with those vegetables, anon?
But not for bananas?
Why is sex awkward?
Because it’s one of the most vulnerable situations we can be in, so we constantly joke about it but never address it as an important educational topic
I personally think it’s because of my parents
Try it without them there, it goes a lot smoother I’ve found.
So condom-buying is not awkward because of an outing as sex-haver, but because of relational uncertainty?
that’s how I tend to look at it. Condoms in retail are just another product, no need for shame. The cashier does not care at all, unless you bring a combo like a shovel. Even then, they’ll laugh to themselves for 5 seconds before ringing up 3 more customers and totally forgetting your order. The shame you feel is a societal projection, created by like 3 dudes who happened to have money.
Just grab some gum from the checkout aisle while you proclaim to the cashier, “For after.”
Y’all need Jesus
