• @[email protected]
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    4616 hours ago

    Here me out on this:

    1. Join the war on the US side
    2. Be really bad at your job, causing tons of friendly fire accidents
    3. Defect to Canada before they catch you
    4. Enjoy some well earned pancakes with authentic maple syrup

    If you go to Canada right away, there’s no way you’re getting the maple syrup rations as a foreigner.

    • @[email protected]
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      1416 hours ago

      Only doing this if I get a moose steak with those pancakes.

      Moose aren’t like a sacred animal in Canada right?

      • @nepenthes
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        15 hours ago

        Moose are revered and they are to be respected!! They can stomp your face effortlessly.

        I believe Aboriginal cultures have many deep ties with the moose. I think some people hunt and eat them, but it’s not really a thing on a menu where I am (urban west coast), and is moreso a maritime/Newfoundland menu thing.

        Regardless, we build many statues to them: (I have only seen one of these in person [top right, Deer Lake Newfoundland].)

        Image transcription: Five moose statues from around Canada. Moose are 2m or 8 6.5-7 feet tall (at the shoulder), so these are some bigass sculptures. One, which was a memorial for a man who died of cancer, is now covered in bras for breast cancer awareness/fundraising.

        Edit: converting metres to feet is hard to do in my head.

  • @leadore
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    2316 hours ago

    Once trump cuts off all government funding from the blue states as he keeps threatening to do, maybe they could join Canada as provinces. It should be win-win considering the blue states contribute more to the federal govt. than they receive from it; while red states receive more than they contribute. So they would make Canada stronger and Trumpistan weaker. Trump wants to expand US lands to impress his idol putin and be like him, but instead he would lose territory.

    • @[email protected]
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      1115 hours ago

      The only meaningful argument against secession is that individual states would be weaker against invaders.

      Except it didn’t work. We were invaded over the internet and lost. What are we protecting ourselves against? Being invaded by a world power that gives its people health care? Losing the democracy we just lost despite never having it to begin with?

      The USA is bad for everyone now… Even Americans.

    • @Pieisawesome
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      415 hours ago

      It’s a nice idea, but they should be independent.

      California has a larger population (and also GDP, I believe) than Canada.

      It makes no sense that Canada would want to more than double its population overnight.

      • Natanox
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        915 hours ago

        Create a Union. Let Europe help - we’re VERY interested in a strong and democratic North American continent, and perhaps we can teach one or two things about democratic resiliency to the so-called “land of the free”.

        • @leadore
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          1 hour ago

          It’s interesting to think about. If the blue states, which are not contiguous, seceded and joined together as a nation, they’d be scattered groups of states and easily defeated. But if they formed a union with Canada (the NAU?), then at least the territory of the NAU would be contiguous because most of the blue clumps are adjacent to Canada: the NE states, west coast states, Minnesota, probably Michigan, and then Illinois, which might be isolated depending on how Wisconsin would go. Colorado and New Mexico would still be isolated. Maybe they could defeat Arizona and be linked up with the west coast.

          Then there’d be the issue of the US capital being D.C which along with its surroundings is overwhelmingly blue, so it would just have to be taken as part of the NE section, and Trumpistan would have to have its capital elsewhere.

            • @leadore
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              113 minutes ago

              If there’s a dynasty, it’d probably be at MaraLago, but my bet would be on Texas.

      • @Clinicallydepressedpoochie
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        15 hours ago

        It would be good to have an established federal government. Knowing america, though, we would fuck that up real quick.

    • SSTF
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      1617 hours ago

      Serious hat for a moment, but the idea that Canadians burnt the White House is a misconception. It was British soldiers from units raised outside of Canada, which had been sent over for the war which did that.

    • @kreskin
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      716 hours ago

      More than half of the US will literally be throwing flowers at your feet as you march toward the capital to burn it. Its about the only thing both parties agree on. Well, that and taking AIPAC bribes to fund a genocide,both parties are down with that too. And guns now I guess. And closing the border.

      • nukeM
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        16 hours ago

        What the fuck? Don’t bring that bullshit in here calling for people to be burned alive. Nah, you’re done. Peace.

  • Miles O'Brien
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    7321 hours ago

    I follow the proud American tradition my grandfather had of fighting fascism.

    If the government of the states decides to be fascist, well…

      • @fprawn
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        138 minutes ago

        Pretty sure its Hot Fuzz

      • tfkgmjfy
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        139 minutes ago

        Hot Fuzz, the middle movie of the cornetto trilogy!

  • @[email protected]
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    15 hours ago

    The usa thought the insurgency was bad in Afghanistan, wait until they see the combo of the largest undefended boarder, a people with a very similar look and culture (at least for language) and oh yeah a unpopular occupation of the country that has had more entries added into the Geneva conventions then any other nation.

    Yeah, and about those nukes in shared sites on Canadian land, all isolated and infamously under defended…

  • Smuuthbrane
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    2921 hours ago

    Thank you for your future service.

    We pay in healthcare and not giving a damn if you smoke up.

  • erin
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    1521 hours ago

    well on one side Canada has Wali and can resurrect Leo Major with their secret maple syrup potion, on the other side they would loose access to their F-35 fleet. So I don’t know if Canada has a chance or not.

    If Canada find a way to clone Leo Major and send one Leo Major on each American city, it’s an easy win for Canada. Can Mapple Syrup clone people?

    • nukeM
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      1821 hours ago

      Do not underestimate the power of maple syrup.

    • @NOT_RICK
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      921 hours ago

      Don’t you dare call my dear F35 loose, she’s as tight as ever!

    • @Gammelfisch
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      220 hours ago

      Time for Canada to but more military equipment from the EU members. Canada has a maple syrup mafia with strategic stockpiles.

      • masterofn001
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        16 hours ago

        Diversity in that it will be Canadians proper rather than Brits along with any and all who wish to participate.

        Equality in that the US should receive what it has given and what it threatens.

        Inclusion in that everyone is welcome to the bonfire. To paraphrase some fuckwad, ‘be there, it’ll be wild’.

  • @Clinicallydepressedpoochie
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    15 hours ago

    Oh definitely. Give me a side to fight on. I haven’t forgotten you Canada an all the wars we fought side by side together.

  • @Maggoty
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    319 hours ago

    Whoa there your choices are snow, jungle, desert, or Arctic ice if you join the US side. Come on how many wars do you get to choose which server environment to play on? And if we do really good we can get the DLC level European Island Country! They say that one will feature the Navy more prominently.

    • @P00ptart
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      718 hours ago

      I already did desert. I think I wanna try jungle this time?

      • @Maggoty
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        418 hours ago

        I was thinking snow is a nice change of pace. As a bonus there’s a lot of ice rinks!

          • @Maggoty
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            414 hours ago

            Mmm poutine, served in the helmet of my frenemies.

        • @P00ptart
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          118 hours ago

          Weee! Yeah all this climate change going on, I haven’t seen more than half an inch of snow yet. 10 years ago it would be knee to thigh deep by now. I wanna see pretty snow again before I die.