This morning drag made a post to the Dull Men’s Club on lemmy.world. Drag isn’t a man, but that doesn’t seem to actually be a requirement. Drag talked about making sushi that wasn’t too sour for drag’s partner with avocado. Drag doesn’t see how that could possibly be offensive to anyone.
A few people replied on topic, but most of the thread is an argument about drag’s pronouns. Drag refused to engage, because… it’s the Dull Men’s Club! The rules say no politics because politics is too interesting. Drag was asked if drag was trolling. How are the pronouns drag uses for dragself on a boring post about sushi acidity supposed to offend anyone?
The mod did step in and remove two of the comments discussing pronouns. But most of the thread is still a debate about drag’s pronouns and Blahaj’s rules about misgendering for some reason. And drag was told not to report so many comments for not being dull.
Why can’t drag have one boring, normal conversation without people asking about drag’s pronouns, attacking Ada, calling drag a troll, hell, even trying to diagnose drag with OCD!
Drag does do a lot of dramaposting, but if this is the result of an inoffensive post about rice vinegar, what’s the point trying to avoid drama at all? It doesn’t work. It feels awful to be avoiding conflict and doing nothing while being treated like a punching bag just for existing.
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You must realise that your pronouns are highly unusual and will cause confusion in people who aren’t aware of them, no?
I’m not telling you to stop using them, do whatever the fuck you like, but maybe keep in mind that the more unusual your language, the harder to understand you are - especially when seeing your posts for the first time. No, that’s no reason to harass you or anything, I’m just saying that, when people react negatively to your posts, the cause is most likely simple confusion.
Oh, so you’re saying drag should expect Lemmy to be the sort of place where people respond to feelings of confusion with trolling accusations and mental disorder diagnoses? That drag should have already realised Lemmy is a place hostile to differences?
Honestly, yes.
It’s not a good thing. But it’s a common thing.
Expecting it isn’t the same thing as liking it or believing it to be normal.
It’s not fair to you or to anyone else, but “fairness” isn’t something that most people in the world seem to care about.
And it’s not Lemmy that’s hostile to differences. It’s people. And people are the ones who use Lemmy.
Drag knows plenty of people who are good. Some of them are on Blahaj.
Yeah, as always, there are both good people and bad people. And others in between.
But the trauma caused by the bad ones often outweighs the positiveness caused by the good ones, at least in our minds.
I’ll add that, often, if someone doesn’t understand another person, they might think there is something wrong with the other person. I didn’t at first realize the way you were referring to yourself in the first person, but that doesn’t mean there was anything wrong with it. I accepted that I was confused, and then I thought about why I was confused. By thinking about why, I was able to understand.
People who jump to “there’s something wrong” often don’t take the time to understand.
I’m saying you should expect people to be like that.
To be fair, they may not have much to be interested in, in the DULL mens club.
I bet most are just interested in something different.
I’ve lurked in some DMC posts, there doesn’t seem to be much excitement.
