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Since nobody seems to have read the article:
Following the unusual birth, Krispy Kreme has offered Dallas, and, more pertinently, his family free doughnuts for a year and will throw Dallas a birthday party every year until he’s an adult.
Das gonna be a fat baby
It’s still the healthiest child in Alabama
Hasn’t the baby suffered enough?
How many donuts could a baby eat in one year? Not that many. Five?
They can’t know whether the baby actually eats them. The baby could be buying them for their parents, after all.
Hurray for childhood obesity!
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Put those donuts in a blender, pop the results in a bottle, and the baby will have a full belly. And probably diabetes by the age of 1. But I get the feeling that’s not too uncommon in Alabama.
My good grandma yelled at my mother for putting Coca-Cola in a sippy cup for me.
This is a common quaint anecdote for most people raised in Alabama.
And before you ask, yes, I do have an evil grandmother. Fortunately, she’s dead.
Just a year?
Fucking cheapskate!
Beetus
Babeetus
Diet Beetus
…starting in a future year, right?
It’s 2025. Every year is a future year these days
What does the FDA consider a year supply when it comes to doughnuts? Or similar group.
I’m thinking if we wanted to be scientific and we’re stocking up a bunker, and wanted to make sure our doughnut supply was appropriate for Alabama standards.
2000 calories worth of donuts x 365
When it comes to these things of free X for a year/life, it’s like 1 free thing, per month. So more than likely, this is 1 dozen doughnuts for free; but you can’t get the whole dozen all at once. You get 1 doughnut per month for 12 months.
I would expect this to be a donut a day, or equivalent.
But…for the next year that number of consumed donuts should be 0.
Wow. I remember when I was a kid, and the NES came out, and I was amazed. Then the SNES came out, and everything improved. Then the N64 came out and my jaw hit the floor.
I said “Wow! Can you IMAGINE what life will be like when I’m old???”
Well. Old me checking in. The future is dumb. I hate it. Please take me back to the late 80s right now.
If you want it to feel like early Nintendo again, the place to look is VR now. Over the last 10 years, it has been an exciting growth pace to watch. And co-incidentally, some of my favorite stuff to do in VR is play Nintendo games in 3D.
Starting them young.
You okay, Gulf Coast?
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KK about to be glazed
