And no “water with a twist of lemon/slice of cucumber” goofs. Water isn’t allowed.

  • downpunxx
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    13810 months ago

    Water is the main component of any and every beverage

      • Square Singer
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        1910 months ago

        You’ll drink this until the end of your life. Works the same with molten iron though.

        • @BluesF
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          310 months ago

          I don’t actually thing you’d manage to swallow any of the molten iron…

        • Nougat
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          1010 months ago

          Based on the posed question and its limiting conditions, elemental mercury is a correct answer. Pure hydrogen peroxide or isopropyl alcohol would qualify, too.

          If you include materials which are liquid outside of “room temperature,” things like magma and liquid nitrogen would also be correct answers.

          • AshDene
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            710 months ago

            Olive oil?

            You wouldn’t live long, but compared to the other options you’re listing…

          • @davidgro
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            310 months ago

            Of the liquids you listed, I think the hydrogen peroxide would be the fastest and most flame-filled death, more than the magma.

            100% H2O2 is Very much unlike the 3% kind that can be purchased at a store.
            It might even explode, I know shipping tanks of it can and I think that’s usually under 100%.

        • @[email protected]
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          410 months ago

          Not quite, actually! I mean, it’s not good for you, but once it’s in your digestive tract it mostly passes straight through rather than being absorbed. The vapor over the liquid is more dangerous, but once you’ve swallowed it that’s not a concern.

        • Nougat
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          10 months ago

          I posit that any substance which can be ingested as a liquid by pouring it from a container into one’s mouth (the act of “drinking”) is, by definition, a “drink.”

        • @atimholt
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          110 months ago

          Supposedly, gallium is non-toxic, and liquid at body temperature (though not room temperature).

          • @[email protected]
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            110 months ago

            I think you replied to the wrong comment. Mercury is absolutely toxic. There’s no safe quantity at all that you can ingest…

    • @[email protected]
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      1310 months ago

      A friend had to read a paper about what people called water vs. how much water made up the substance. So like pond water has less water than tea, we call one water one tea. Truly thrilling research.

      • DarraignTheSane
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        10 months ago

        I don’t think OP knows what they mean with this question. The top two ‘serious’ answers are coffee and tea, which is just “hot water with shit mixed in”. Anything you drink is water with shit mixed in. Any answer that isn’t “water with shit mixed in” means you die, either within months or minutes. Most answers that are “water with shit mixed in” would still kill you fairly quickly if that’s all you ever drank.

        • @[email protected]
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          10 months ago

          I think OP knows exactly what they mean, I think if you asked a five year old they’d know what they mean.

          Yet for some reason, some people are completely missing the point of a very simple question which boils down to “if you couldn’t drink regular water, what would you have instead”…

          • snowe
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            910 months ago

            That’s not “exactly” what they mean, as the difference between what you think they’re saying and other commenters think is clearly different. Is la croix or bubbly allowed? If not then what about a hard seltzer? If those are allowed then why isn’t lemon water allowed? If those aren’t allowed then where is the line? Gatorade is seltzer water without the bubbles and with electrolytes. It’s clear that OP’s question was not well thought out, hence why so many people here have a problem with it.

            • snowe
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              810 months ago

              And yet the main answer in this thread is “tea” which is clearly just water with leaves in it. Why is that different than water with lemons in it? Just because you didn’t have a problem with the question doesn’t mean the question doesn’t have major problems. You just didn’t notice the problems.

        • LanternEverywhere
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          10 months ago

          The point of OP’s question is clear. He’s referring to a drink that has sensory qualities that are clearly distinct from plain water. Water with a spritz of lemon still reads as water. As a loose guideline this is like anything you’d order as “water with x” or “x water”, like cucumber water. Coffee clearly doesn’t fit into that category, it has sensory qualities that are very different than water with x in it.

              • queermunist she/her
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                -310 months ago

                If I ask anyone for a glass of water, they’re going to get me the same thing because they know what I mean. No one is going to get me a glass of orange juice or tea or 7up, even though that’s technically also water.

                You know what OP means. You’re being ridiculous.

                • snowe
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                  110 months ago

                  so then do you agree that they wouldn’t bring you lemon water or cucumber water? clearly you didn’t ask for those. but OP explicitly calls those out as ‘no goofs’. so where’s the line?

          • LanternEverywhere
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            10 months ago

            This is not true. Coffee is a mild diuretic, but the amount of water you consume along with it is way way more than the amount of water that the caffeine induces you to pee out.

            • Hypx
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              210 months ago

              I’m curious how far you can take this. Can you drink only espressos and still get hydrated?

              • LanternEverywhere
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                110 months ago

                Then i don’t understand your argument. There’s nothing stopping you from drinking as much coffee as you need to get your water

          • parrot-party
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            410 months ago

            Dude. Yes they have some small diuretic effects but tea and coffee are overwhelmingly hydrating. It’s just not a good idea to mainline that much caffeine for heart reasons.

          • DarraignTheSane
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            110 months ago

            Sure, added that note in an edit. There’s no answer here that doesn’t result in your early death.

    • Dandroid
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      10 months ago

      I had this argument with my roommate once. It was probably the biggest argument we ever had. IMO, just because it has water in it doesn’t mean that the drink is water. Like, some people don’t like the taste of water, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t like milk, which has water in it.

      For me a beverage is defined by its flavor, not its components.

      • snowe
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        710 months ago

        They said no goofs like lemon water though. So what’s the line?

        • @scrypt
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          310 months ago

          i mean lemon water is still called water.

          you don’t call apple juice apple water or sprite sprite water. i think the limiter is pretty naturally deferred in the naming of the drinks themselves.

          • @Donebrach
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            510 months ago

            Yeah but this is the same reason Pluto is no longer a planet. Definitions matter, and every single beverage that humans consume is mostly water so, where is the line drawn on saturation of additional components? We need a DEFINITE line. Also I am in the camp that every beverage is “[Additive]-water” and anything that crosses the “not-water” barrier becomes “soup” until it is a baked good or building material.

          • snowe
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            210 months ago

            I purposefully called it lemon water. You could also call it lemonade.

            you don’t call apple juice apple water or sprite sprite water.

            but you do in other languages. Just because it’s hard to find examples in English doesn’t mean that the concept is unique.

            Examples:

            • Agua de horchata
            • Agua fresca
            • Agua de Jamaica a type of tea
            • people are literally saying coconut water in this thread so idk what you think that is.
            • Agua de Valencia a mimosa style cocktail
            • Uisce beatha literally ‘Water of Life’ in Irish, it refers to Whiskey
            • Aquavit another spirit that translate… you guessed it… to Water of Life!
            • Nước Chanh … i’ll let you google this one yourself 😉

            In fact if you start looking into the root words of things you’ll find ‘water’ everywhere! Vodka, you guessed it, is based on the root Slavic word ‘voda’ meaning… Water!!! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vodka

            We’re just talking about water here. This extends to literally any ingredient in any drink ever. If you start looking at other drinks you start finding strange things like Punch which may be from the Sanskrit for ‘five’ denoting the five ingredients used in it.

            The word punch may be a loanword from Hindi पाँच (pāñć), meaning “five”, as the drink was frequently made with five ingredients: alcohol, sugar, juice from either a lime or a lemon, water, and spices.

  • @[email protected]
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    7610 months ago

    EVERY drink is water!

    • Soda is less water and some sugar mixture
    • Juice is less water and some squished fruit
    • Beer is less water and some cooked hops
    • Tea is less water and some leaf infusion
    • Coffee is less water and some roasted bean-juice
    • A martini is even less water with some alcohol and old squished fruit

    So DON’T TELL ME WATER ISN’T ALLOWED! Damn, this is making me irrationally angry. Maybe I need some water…

    • moosetwin@FMHY
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      610 months ago

      I wish you’d said beer was less water and more squished fruit

    • @joyjoy
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      310 months ago

      If that’s the case, I guess I’ll pick kool-aid powder.

    • @SpeedLimit55
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      -210 months ago

      You can either have whole milk or fresh squeezed juice. 😂

      • @[email protected]
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        1410 months ago

        Whole milk is just water with some emulgated fat in it. Fresh squeezed juice is just water with some biomass in it.

        I suppose we need to switch to sunflower oil or something. It is digestible, has no water in it, but isnt exactly healthy.

  • redimk
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    3910 months ago

    Dr. Pepper because I’m here for a fun time not a long time.

    • AttackBunny
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      610 months ago

      Agreed, but in theory you wouldn’t be able to add milk (it’s a drink after all)

      I prefer green tea personally, but recently found some Hawaiian Mamaki Tea, and I’m loving it.

  • @HellAwaits
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    10 months ago

    deleted by creator

  • Sagrotan
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    2610 months ago

    Sadly all “drinks” are made primarily from water. Otherwise they were called “chews”. You living in the US of A by any chance? Unrelated question.

  • jsveiga
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    2310 months ago

    Coconut water fresh from a refrigerated coconut. I would only drink that, even if I didn’t have to, if it was cheap enough.

  • Archmage Azor
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    2210 months ago

    Milk

    I’ll be the strongest mf in the skeleton war

    • @[email protected]
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      10 months ago

      Make sure you learn archery so that you can at least be an archery skeleton instead of a skeleton infantry plebe.

      • Archmage Azor
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        1010 months ago

        Newsflash, all drinks are mostly water

      • Jakylla
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        10 months ago

        Actually all drinks are 70+% water I suppose, if not, you call them not “drinks” but “stew” or “paste”, or even drier: “sand”

        Edit: Nevermind, thought about 30+% alchools, having by definition less than 70% water 😅

    • Coskii
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      110 months ago

      This is basically my life anyways. Other less serious and more waterless answer is gasoline.