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To this day, the “Now with FLAVOR!” part still kills me.
A lot of prospective boyfriend carers don’t know this, but once the typical boyfriend comes of age to be chosen by a carer, they are perfectly capable of procuring and preparing their own food!
Just make certain that you show them where the food items are located, and they should be able to provide not only for themselves, but for you, too! Now, no one says it’s wrong to feed a boyfriend, but not playing to their capabilities not only deprives them of proper growth, but robs you of a core feature of boyfriends: sharing a life as equals!
Just be a thoughtful and responsible carer, and you could have a happy home for decades, or until it shits on the floor and you have to put it down.
I’m a big boyfriend, all growed up, I can make hot pocket and peanut butter sandwich.
That sounds amazing rn [8]
You mean to say I should let it out of the enriching environment i’ve set up for it in my basement? What if it runs away???
Most boyfriends will come back home if they accidentally escape. Make sure to put a bell on your boyfriend’s collar so if he does get out he doesn’t decimate the local bird population.
Bird population
😳
Would it help if I had him neutered?
Probably
Have you considered breast feeding?
I tried a bit from the tap after my son was born, can say it was not bad at all
have you considered migrating back to reddit, so our eyes don’t have to read such comments like this one?
There is a “ignore” button if you don’t like it. 🙄
have you considered irony?
Was your comment supposed to be ironic? Perhaps you should read the definition of “irony”.
let me introduce you to sarcasm then, a form of irony; you seem nice /s.
Have you considered maybes that your comment just wasn’t all that funny?
Mixing the pellets and wet food is what boyfriends crave.
But only do it on special events. Otherwise it won’t go back to regular food.
We call it a “high value treat”
And getting to eat a peach several times a week.
🍑
🎼🎶"Snack my peach up"
just saw a video on nebula about a kid eating about 70 chicken nuggets every day for 7 years and nothing else. he did go blind, but the average relationship will not last that long, so problem solved.
Is that a Chubbyemu video or a knockoff?
the real deal
I have no idea what those things on the left are.
In the past week or two I be cooked with horse, venison and reindeer. All more moral meats than factory farmed, imo. Delicious as fuck when you known what you’re doing.
On a sidenote, the small store I got the reindeer from… I told the shopkeep how the reindeer had been wonderful when I got some more venison from them, and how I was enjoying eating cruelty free meat. Perhaps she didn’t really listen too what I said as her answer was to offer me some veal. (I did buy it though but that’s so immoral in comparison, sort of glad I fucked up the dish with too many mushrooms so I didn’t particularly enjoy the veal.)
This reindeer was great:
I’m not high on presentation but I was taking pictures for my food log for health reasons so I put a basil leaf on top. That’s gluten and dairy free though, as it’s gluten-free pasta. Which suck in general, btw, this is the only acceptable one I’ve found (Rummo).
I start by slow-cooking veggies for a few hours, mirepoix/soffritto style but with large veggies instead of diced. During that take the mince out to warm and rub some salt and spices into it. Then flash it in a hot pan and add to sauce and start building tomato and red wine based sauce around those. Simple, just takes a bit of time.
Oh and that leek? Literally thicker bigger than my arm. Unit of a leek. (That’s a piece of it and further in the background than you might think.)
I have ao many questions on this comment. Is it satire? Is it genuine? But the real question (if you’re serious) is - how in the world have you not heard of Tostino Pizza Rolls?
how in the world have you not heard of Tostino Pizza Rolls
I dont think they’re sold on my continent
I’m being 100% serious.
I’ve heard of Pizza Rolls in some shows. I just had no idea what they looked like.
My freezer looks a bit different to yours I guess.
As someone very likely living in the same country as you judging by the beer and language in your freezer, I also had no idea those were pizza rolls. I think I had cereal that looked like that once
Yea I thought something along those lines as well. Can’t tell the size from the picture, so they might be the size of the end of your finger or several centimetres across if it’s zoomed out more than the macaroni.
Idk.
I’m glad our food quality is pretty good. There’s still some complaints I have, but in general it’s pretty good. That Lappari is bullshit though. Supposedly gluten-free, but I got symptoms and then Googled it and Lapin Kulta has had to recheck batches of that beer because of such a lot of complaints from gluten-sensitive people.
It should be somewhat simple to fix the issue by adding a class, like having low-gluten and absolutely no-gluten. We like regulation so shouldn’t be an issue.
This thread is making me hungry.
Feed me something healthy so I don’t die at 40
I’m over 40 and only eat pizza bites, KD, and poutine. I’ve never had a single health related…aggggggggggggggggggggggg
agggggggggggggggg
He must have died while typing …
At least he had the good sense to hit the ENTER key before he passed.
Look, if he was dying, he wouldn’t bother to write “aggggggggggggggggggggggg.” He’d just say it!
Perhaps he was dictating
Ooooo
Pizza is highly recommended.
NSFW
My boyfriend seem to prefer eating pussy. ;)
(I don’t have a boyfriend or a supply of pussy.)
You don’t need a boyfriend to have your pussu eaten.
Damn, you’d hit up ur local pussy dealer
My last boyfriend‘s diet consisted of protein shakes, ass, dick, cum, G, and amphetamines.
and amphetamines.
Well that escalated into a different direction quickly. 😆
Pet boyfriend, huh?
The sad thing is I work at a small office with a half dozen nerdy dudes in their late 20s/early 30s and that is literally how all of them eat.
Do they rip the worst farts or am I just telling on myself that pizza rolls give me room-clearing war crimes-level gas bombs?
The Amish dudes at my work absolutely destroy the toilets. Smears going up the tank, hair everywhere, toilet often clogged. What the fuck are their wives and mothers feeding them??
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What’s the husband food look like?
Borscht
Damn, ya got me. I love beets.
My wife makes chicken and steak. My experience good.
No veggies? No dessert?
I have gotten used to coffee and desert. I am officially an old man now.
However, the Italians/French are onto something, an espresso after lunch is great. It gives you half an hour or so of slacking off and then the caffeine kicks in.
It’s funny because men can’t cook
In my 20s, most men can cook? Is what I was going to say but then I rememebered I kinda taught and got a few ppl started cooking, you kinda just need to learn to experiement and be okay with failure, a lot of ppl just dont want to ruin their meal or waste food, gotta cook when you aren’t hungry for the love of the game lol.
If you’re a parent, teach them young, the sooner you make the mistakes the easier it is to pick stuff up
I feel personally attacked by that. Am man and able to cook. Unfair generalization. I do still manage to leave the toilet seat up.
I’m a man and I have to remind my girlfriend to put the toilet seat down. No she does not stand up to pee. Generalizations are stupid.
There are only two things that women don’t do as well as men and that’s design dresses and cook.
