Summary
Pete Buttigieg will announce he will not run for Michigan’s open U.S. Senate seat in 2026, keeping his options open for a potential 2028 presidential bid.
Many allies advised that a Senate run would conflict with national ambitions.
Buttigieg, a former transportation secretary and South Bend mayor, has built political connections in Michigan, a key swing state.
His decision leaves the race open to replace retiring Sen. Gary Peters.
“I’m an unlikable piece of shit who spent half his life padding a resume full of hollow accolades and corporate yes-man gigs,” Mr. Buttigieg continued. “My home state won’t touch me and I’m worried residents of Michigan are far too familiar with my reputation to give me a free pass into a do-nothing minority party’s safe seat. Better to stick with my role as campaign donation bundler and political hatchet man, until I can find another cushy federal appointment or perhaps a board I can sit on or some new way to fix bread prices in Canada.”
The he let out a loud squeak and began dragging away a large piece of pizza.
Username suggests they’ve met.
Don’t forget when he got Wyatt Cenac’s HBO show cancelled.
“Did I mention I was a mayor of a small college town? Once. I was just using it to go for state office, and once the people realized that i was only helicoptering in to use them as a stepping stool, they gave me the boot. That was sufficient qualification for the DNC to elevate me to their national platform during the 2020 primary, because, you know, we needed to split the NPR/ liberal democrat vote off the progressives. Don’t worry. I dropped out just in time to hand Biden the bag. I’ll always cave towards the institution, never the people.”
Michiganers need Buttigieg like they need a hole in their bucket. Fuck, Eminem has done way more to create a visible resistance towards Trump, hate, and authoritarianism than Buttigieg has. Fuck these helicopter candidates.
