When my grandmother met my now wife, who is from Alabama, my grandmother told her “well, we all have to be from somewhere”
As someone who’s family is from Alabama, I hard agree with your grandma. Where was she from? And can I steal her line?
My grandma was from the Midwest, mostly South Dakota. My grandma was very sweet and so it really cracked us up when she said that.
That to me sounds like a very northern state phrase. I can absolutely hear my grandma saying that (not saying you/they are, just made me smile thinking of that)
“Better an empty house, than a bad tenant” after every loud fart.
i use a very similar one, in german we say: everything that doesn’t pay rent gets thrown out
“You don’t have to shovel rain.” - My grandfather when asked why he moved the family from Wisconsin to Oregon.
Now, that’s wisdom I can get behind! 🤙🏼 (raised out yonder in the mitten, now happily left coast rooted)
“How are you ever gonna keep a job if you can’t keep juice in a cup?!”
I was 9 years old
Brutal 🤣🤌🏼
My grandmother used to say: if you expect your good deed to be reciprocated, you’re not actually doing a good deed.
She said it in dutch, so I hope it’s an decent translation.
I’ve heard this one put similarly: “If you’re looking for something in return, even your good deeds are an extension of your selfishness.”
My grandma would say “he can put his boots at the foot of my bed.” My grandma had the hots for lots of younger country singers.
My mom used to say Robert Redford could park his shoes under her bed anytime.
From my mom, not my grandparents, but we’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of this one
“If I find it, can I hit you with it?”
Used when we were bugging her about not being able to find something. Don’t believe she ever made good on that threat, but it usually did it’s intended purpose of getting us to quit bugging her and find it ourselves. And if it was something we really needed help finding it would have been an acceptable trade-off.
My sister got a lot of use out of it with her college roommates and my wife and I use it with each other pretty regularly.
Removed by mod
My grandpa had a million one liners, most were somewhat inappropriate but here’s a fun one. He’d say, “Did anyone get hurt in that wreck?” To any of my friends that drove over. When they inevitably asked “what wreck?” He’d say, “the one you pulled up in.” This was devastating to the ones who were super proud of their cars. Lol
From my grandmother: “Essen! Essen!” (Eat! Eat!) Followed quickly by “You need to lose weight! You’re getting fat!”
‘Whits fur ye will no’ go past ye’ - what’s for you will not go past you
My wee Scottish granny had some real wisdom.
‘No point in worrying about somethin cos if it happens ye suffer twice!’
My parents used these hahhaa. And the classic for when you’ve had enough of someone “go get in the sea”
After reading this comment, I was going to ask what “get tae fook” meant, but then I clocked your username and now I’m not sure that’s so wise.
Hahaha. Yeah. That means basically fuck off, get fucked.
Friend’s grandfather used to say…
The hurrier I go the behinder I get.
I love this, I’m gonna have to start using it when everyone is rushing and making silly mistakes at work
When he was talking about turning 100: “I can’t see, and I can’t hear, but I can still eat so I’m not going to die.”
He did indeed make it to 100.
My grandmother: “You can get glad in the same pants that you got mad in.”
Also, when you’re hurt: “it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.”
My mom too on the pants. 🙂
My grandmother said, “The time for tarts are when they’re passing.” She meant “take what’s offered when its offered,” but I want it printed on the programs at my funeral
But, will there be tarts?
I don’t mean to besmirch the original commenter’s honour, but I read it as the tart will be in the coffin, having passed.
Exactly!
I was just trying to get an invite. 🤪
Anything bad happens:
My grandad: “FLAMING JACKSAWS AND BUCKETS OF BLOOD!”
He was never in a metal band that I’m aware of.
